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What are you looking for???

1:35 pm Tuesday, 11th June, 2013

Seems to me women on here fall into one of two categories:

--Looking for sex, NSA, all the fun they can get.

--Looking for love, whether it be a little or a lot, for a night or a week or a month or longer.

Most of us don't admit to the second one.

I had an interesting conversation with a man in the hot tub this morning about love. He has met quite a few, and thinks that all women are looking for love; in his experience here anyway, even the ones claiming to want only NSA sex want more. I can't agree or disagree, as I have not talked to everyone, but many of those I have talked to do admit, at least partially, that they are, at the very least, looking for someone "special."

As for me, I guess I do have to admit it: I want love. I am not looking for nor expecting to find a soulmate or the love of my life here, but I do want more than straight sex with a hurried good bye after.

My current approach is that I am looking for friends. Man, have I got a lot of shit about that one (I have enough friends, I come here for sex, not more friends, ETC). But--you can love a friend without wanting or expecting any great commitment, and you can still be friends IF sex does come into the picture and/or leave it. And if it doesn't, you still have a friend.

Friends, by the way, make the best lovers, in my opinion. I want someone I feel comfortable with, free to express myself to, and say what I want. Friends listen to what I like and don't like, (not only to the gripes I have at the time--who wants that, anyway) and actually follow through with it.

Not everyone will agree, of course, but there it is.

Honestly: what are you looking for here? (and this goes for the men, too)



Comments
5:11 pm Tuesday, 11th June, 2013

Yes, I am similar in that I'm looking for friends, not love, but someone I can enjoy their company and have a horny time with... Plus I love the buildup... sharing the excitement of enticement... I've done one night stands, which do have their place, but its so much better having several one night stands with the same person!

7:59 pm Tuesday, 11th June, 2013

Dear Aphrodite, I find myself in agreement with the sentiments you express.
It is amazing how one can establish bonds with people on this site,although one has never met face to face.In conversation,one discovers shared interests, similar senses of humour and intellect as well as the experiences and problems which have been encountered by both at one time or another.
The word "love" has so many connotations ,that it is necessary to consider it in many different and varied situations.
I for one, am not ashamed to say that there are numerous people I love as good and close friends and I hope and think that is reciprocated.
" No man is an island " to quote John Donne and it is an impoverished person who does not have the friendship of those about him.

2:27 am Wednesday, 12th June, 2013

Dangerous to make generalizations, but on the whole men and women are wired up differently: biologically they have different roles and this is reflected in their "mating behaviour". On the whole, men are more capable of fucking and then walking away, whereas most women desire at least some "binding" when it comes to sex. With younger women who are yet to have babies, some part of their mentality is always on the lookout for a suitable fatherprovider. With older women who have already gone through all that, loneliness andor the desire for security are the main driving factors. I think this basic difference in attitudes between the sexes accounts for a lot of what goes on here, and the choices that people make.

5:25 pm Wednesday, 12th June, 2013

sex is desire but love comes naturally...people may talk about love but may not really feel the magic in the heart...but when a person has consented sex with the other at the least each of them should be able to show some cares and concerns in each others life cause by having sex would automatically develop some kind of bonds on the relationship.

5:41 pm Wednesday, 12th June, 2013

For sure the best sex comes from truly knowing and respecting someone:) That takes time, trust, communication and friendships are most definitely formed but is that love? I think it could well be;)

6:17 pm Wednesday, 12th June, 2013

For me its just the brief encounters. Mr NSA thats me - the very definition of the term. Oh I dont mean wham bam etc etc etc, because an adventure done well is superb - sex for the brain.

So

How come I have made some exceptionally great friends on here? More than that I have fiends who make my heart flutter a bit. Well a lot sometimes.

Funny thing this chemistry........

7:30 pm Wednesday, 12th June, 2013

Fiends Riggs? Don't you mean friends??

3:43 am Thursday, 13th June, 2013

I'm still holding out for my Biology Hypothesis, but obviously if Chemistry is not there, it's not going to happen. Physics (i.e. size, mass and gravity) also plays a role :-)

Even the term "NSA" is not definitive: it can mean "fuck and walk away" or it can mean "developing a loose friendship based on both partners respecting each other's privacy and right to look elsewhere". I'm really looking for the latter, but I've found that very few women are able to sign up to that.

I'm not a "cold fish" and am capable of affection, fun and friendship, but I'm sufficiently mature to know that I'm no longer given to teen-like infatuations. I think many people still cling to that ideal of MrMs Wonderful waiting just over the next horizon, long into middle age. Personally I think that it's more normal and natural if people's attitudes to relationships evolve as they mature.

My "disclaimer" is fully spelled out in my profile, and that is what my presence here is based on. I'll never meet anyone unless I'm sure we're both on the same wavelength as far as that is concerned, otherwise it just leads to misunderstanding, recriminations and tears :-)





5:17 am Thursday, 13th June, 2013

harvey: You made me smile. I had this image of two people meeting, each with duck tape over their mouths, fucking, and then walking off without exchanging a word :-)

8:15 am Thursday, 13th June, 2013

oooer. Isnt that non verbal coupling between strangers known as the zipless fuck?

Notwithstanding my general preference for social as well as sexual intercourse the zipless fuck remains on my "to do" list...

10:21 am Thursday, 13th June, 2013

LOL@curvybird

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