I think that we women often come to this site with a different attitude and self understanding than do many men. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that men come looking for sex while women are looking for some kind of acknowledgement. Maybe it's just me. But in the time I have spent here on the Hub, I have learned quite a few things about myself and life in general.
1--NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME AFTER ALL. This should be obvious, but I have been married an awful long time to an insecure, controlling man who has done his best to force me to be what he thinks a woman should be (and this ideal woman is nothing like who I really am). I found myself, early on, in a state of shock when I found myself treated with more respect by men on a swinger's site than I feel in my own home.
2--I LIKE SEX. Should be obvious (but see #1). And that's a good thing.
3--MY BODY IS ALL RIGHT AS IT IS. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I've struggled with a sense of self hatred over my body size, but being accepted as I am by so many has made me look at myself differently. My size does not define who I am.
4--I AM NOT THE BORING PERSON I'VE BEEN TOLD I AM (again, #1). It continually amazes me that some people like to chat with me even about my mundane, everyday life. As if I'm someone worth knowing.
5--I CAN MAKE MISTAKES AND MOVE ON. I fell hard for someone online here, it may end up working out in the end, but for now is all up in the air. The problem was mostly my fault, in my opinion. It's hard to say goodbye to the dream he represented for me, but I am strong enough to say good bye, if need be, and move on. It's not the end of the world. Though sometimes it seems like it.
6--I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE CHANGES IN MY PRIVATE LIFE. It's easy to escape into the fantasy world that the hub can so easily become. I talk to my online friends here, in varying depth, about everything. It started out as a way to complain without worrying that it would affect me too much. But talking so much about what's wrong in my life has got me to a point where I'm (getting) ready to act on it. Really.
There's more. I just need to figure it out.
|
5:17 pm Monday, 15th April, 2013
Deep very deep, |
|
|
5:35 pm Monday, 15th April, 2013
Its sometimes difficult when the grass is so green, that you desire it so much, it hurts sometimes. Then reality comes to visit for a while;( |
|
|
3:20 pm Wednesday, 17th April, 2013
Another great blog. It's clear to me that although you have your feet firmly on the ground they are getting itchy. I really hope that the confidence you are gaining from the people who enjoy your company on the site will give you the spur to move on to a better place. You say a lot that others are thinking and feeling. Good on you!! |
|
|
9:44 pm Wednesday, 17th April, 2013
Honest people will say how they feel, what they feel and be open, tell the truth and say it as it is, them are the kind of people you want in your life, as they are not bull shitter , they are true friends x real people x |
