These raw reads are written as the thoughts come into my head. As such its not intended to be finely crafted with brilliant prowse but just to be thoughts as I have them.
So far it's been quite difficult to progress with this lifestyle, for a few different reasons. I've struggled with stress this year, who hasn't. But my anxiety and depression has held me back a little. I'm working too much to keep myself afloat and ive just struggled to communicate properly with others, especially those I'd like to meet up with.
So a little more about what I'm after and i'll get quite specific.
I'm attracted to femininity itself so I'm attracted to myself when I'm dressed up, Im attracted to feminine crossdressers when they're dressed up. I enjoy acting girly. I'm bisexual and I'm still attracted to cis females so the feminine the better.
Im still a virgin and I don't have much, or any experience with others but I've a clear idea of what turns me on. I'm submissive by nature. If I was to be with a man, it would be as the girl. I would be strictly a bottom. With another Crossdresser I'd like to be either submissive or a switch as I've a notion of seeing myself and another crossdresser as lesbians. It would be the same if I was with a girl, though that scenario id leave it up to what the girl wanted to do.
I'm submissive not just in the way that I would take another. I enjoy pleasing people more than receiving pleasure myself. This is just the way I'm wired. Guy or girl I'd be happy just to make you happy.
I struggle with balance while chatting or messaging, meaning that I love genuine chat and getting to know one another but at the same time, I miss social cues as to if I should be direct as to what I'd like you to do to me or me to you. I enjoy being told I'm pretty and I enjoy being turned on by dirty talk. Yet I do enjoy just talking and being sincere, kind. Propping up others self esteem and self worth. If I tell you that your pretty, beautiful and amazing in how you live then you better believe I mean it for the best of reasons. Not simply in the interest of getting into your knickers, or to you to get into mine. I struggle with that balance so if your chatting with me and you want to turn it kinky just say, same with if you just want to talk. I'm a great listener of problems and I do invest my time in others, if your genuine.
I'm a genuine person so what I say and do never has a motive or sinister meaning behind them, so I expect the same back. If your not who you say you are but just fancy a little online roleplay or kinky chat then just say. I don't do married, i'll chat and help with anything that's on your mind but I will not get in-between marriage. It's just a moral I have. But if your single and ready to mingle then you my friend can make my nethers tingle hehe xx
I do have social anxiety which has made taking the next steps in my journey difficult. I'm a really nice person and I'm interested in someone else like that, understanding and kind. If roleplay was involved then obviously I'd accept a certain level of humiliation, restraint and a little roughness but I'd expect the other person to be very aware of my feelings and outside of roleplay not be pushy or mean.
I struggle to work long hours each month just to keep living as I want independently. So I either struggle with tiredness and energy levels or I struggle to have extra income. This means the conventional methods for meeting up I'm struggling with. I can't really afford to travel (I don't have a car) and I don't think I can afford a hotel. I am willing once someone wins my insecurities over, to meet in my house. I would absolutely have to know that this person means no I'll will towards me. Im not too sure if I could share a bed with another. I'd like to get there but I've never done it so I might be uncomfortable. (Can you see how I overthink everything. Honestly it does tire me out)
So these issues and wants are things that I'm somehow unable to say. I've not had much luck gaining traction towards meeting up with someone. The few that live local seem a little reluctant or are waiting for me to make moves I'm quite honestly unable to make. I'm ssomewhat intimidated by the idea of meeting men right now, but it is a turn on to think of being the girl for a guy. Nearly as much as being a girl for a girl.
Hopefully someone will convince me that taking the next step for them will be worth the risk. I think I'll be worth someone knowing in there life xx
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7:23 pm Monday, 10th August, 2020
Sounds Fantastic to me as I love being crossdressed and would love the chance to be long termed relationship in order to experiment find our likes ,loves and lives for . |
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2:59 am Tuesday, 11th August, 2020
Very nice and I can relate to what you are saying. My feelings and desires are pretty much the same. I have felt and desired to be like a woman all my life. |
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10:42 am Tuesday, 11th August, 2020
Likewise in so many ways😘 |
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9:24 am Wednesday, 12th August, 2020
Thanks for this post, and been so honest and open, you sound like a very sweet guy girl, and the only advice I can think to offer is to just bite the bullet and go for it, a bit scary I know, but I think in the long run it's the only way. I'd be happy to chat with you if you need a sounding board,.Bob xxx |
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7:27 pm Sunday, 13th September, 2020
You have put my feelings into words perfectly! Just remember to be happy alongside all of the overthinking ✌️XXX |
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1:14 am Monday, 14th September, 2020
You are so sincere, and very accurate beautiful.xxx |
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6:33 pm Wednesday, 16th December, 2020
Wow great post and I think we can all relate to it whether top or bottom, homme or femme, hope your journey goes well and it is always better to be yourself there is not enough individuality around at the moment xxxxxx |
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7:22 am Wednesday, 6th January, 2021
I would go and talk to professional, therapy person, heshe will help your understand they why to all your questions. I recently did this and its been amazing and enlightlening. I dont see crosdressing as sorded and wrong anymore, Im now happy after i dress opposed to feeling guilt and shame. I have opend my black boxes (all the things your hiding and running from), my black boxes made me drepressed as did not like myself because of them and was running from them. Now not only do i like myself again, im happeir, back to normal me, and my understanding of my self awarness, feelings and emotions is on another level. |
