Hello once again ladies and gents! Welcome back to possibly the dullest blog you will read today! The subject for today? Well it's in the title of course. As you may or may not know, I am very new to the bdsm lifestyle so naturally I have questions. Now I know before a couple engages in play, honest communication is always the first step. I know you need to set boundaries, have safewords and have complete trust in your partner because one person is giving up control of what happens. I understand that everything that happens is consensual. But where is the line drawn? A very good friend of mine recently entered a relationship like this but some of the things she tells me leads me to concern. The latest being of a situation where she told him that he hit like a bitch. His response was to pin her shoulders down with his knees and proceeded to in her words "slapped the shit out of her." Now I know that she is into the rough stuff. All the regular things that you hear like hair pulling, being restrained etc. But guys when I hear pinned me down and slapped the shit out of me...well you can probably guess my response. I was angry. I wanted to hurt the guy. She tried to calm me down and explained that it was all part of the scenario but I'm still not sure. To me there is physical domination and then there is just abuse. This activity in my eyes falls to the latter. I understand she is into the painful side of what bdsm can be but is there a limit? IMO he took things too far, but she didn't use the safeword, which she could have done at any given time. I just don't see how someone could get any pleasure from that type of treatment. So I pose this question to you all. Is that behavior part of role play or is it just plain abusive? Am I right to be concerned for her well being or should I mind my own business and let her have her...and I use the word loosely here...."fun" How far is exactly too far?
Thanks for reading guys and girls! See you in the next one.
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9:44 pm Friday, 17th July, 2020
For every pot there is a lid. If she didn’t use her safe word then it is hard to say. She had to have known disrespecting her Dom as she did would not sit well. It sounds like she doesn’t understand the essence of a true Ds relationship. I can be a total brat. But you don’t humiliate and degrade your Dom. |
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6:52 pm Sunday, 2nd August, 2020
My kink may not be your kink, but nothing is TOO extreme as long as both parties are consenting to it (& it sounds like she was to me as she tried to talk you down when u became angry on her behalf). Not an expert by any means, but I think the key here is to find someone who matches well with your preferences & to let others do their thing without judgement. |
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6:54 am Thursday, 13th August, 2020
There is definitely a reason for u to be angry, that is not right I like pain with my pleasure but there noway that is pleasureable. |
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7:10 am Thursday, 13th August, 2020
If they both don’t enjoy it what’s the sense and when or where does he stop once he realizes that’s she will just take it, it will Be happening all the time weather she wants it |
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12:30 am Tuesday, 18th August, 2020
After reading the comments posted by another reader, I had to post again. The comments posted by that reader suggest to me that they don't understand the first thing about BDSM, or Ds. If they are vanilla, I can understand why they posted the thoughts they did. However this site is called bdsmbonding... |
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7:33 am Tuesday, 29th September, 2020
It seems that you have little respect for your friend and want to play the Macho card - the big bad guy saving the poor little girl ! She set the scene and is obviously happy with it - so you have no business interfering in what decisions she makes and how she feels about things. Please stop undermining someone else's decisions and happiness. |
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7:57 pm Monday, 4th January, 2021
Instead of wondering about what your friend likes,you should explore to see what you like. Keep communication open with your friend just in case she needs a friend. She knew how he would react. When you explore each other,you learn about each other. I don't understand how u can get pleasure out of pain. But each person is different. |
