It's been quite a year. Too much of a year really. I have been incredibly stressed and a lot of the time depressed about a few areas of my life. One of them being the side I call Gemma. My girly, sissy side (I use that term in a playful way)
Like dominoes falling my problem areas would collapse into one another. I had a meltdown last week. It was too much for me to take, so I felt I needed to remove a stress. I am trying to change jobs but that would not be a quick fix.
That was when I made the decision to come out to my family. Now my family somewhat already had suspicions. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend. Not to sound stereotypical but I like candles, baths, kitties and gin so red flags were all over my sexuality haha.
I got a little drunk' yesterday. Honestly Berry Gin mixed with Prosecco is a dangerous, delicious combination. Later on into the night my mum, quite drunk herself asked me about things to do with my past (with my father, see previous blogs) I told her, it seems a deep personal conversation so I decided that that was the time. I mean I didn't really decide. It came out (no pun intended) before I could even think. I was relaxed about it, probably the cocktails, and I explained that I was bisexual and that I had a feminine side that I like to explore.
She took it extremely well. She said she kinda knew I wasn't straight and we talked a little longer. I then told my brother and his girlfriend who also took it well.
I went back to my house and straight away went 'omg what did I do' I cringed, I cried a little (mostly relief) I then fell asleep.
Today I asked to meet up for a coffee. I asked her did she remember our conversation she said yes and I was like good, because I didn't want to have to come out twice.
Unfortunately she hadn't remembered or heard everything I was saying. I sat there and then said to a TV advert 'i'd wear that dress myself'. Well she looked at me strange and said 'why?' I looked at her blankly and went 'because I crossdress' shy looked shocked. She told me she was a little shocked. I told her I thought she knew. She told me she hadn't really heard that part. So I literally came out to my mother twice. No shock there, she's lovely but not the greatest listener.
At the end of the weekend. I feel slightly lighter in my head. I feel uneasy and feel maybe regret for not keeping my private life private. Someone has told me that look at it this way, I won't be living a charade. In many ways that's true. I still do not know quite who I am or what I am really. I don't exactly feel my pride yet but I think I'm that much closer. I guess that's something really.
Gemma
xx
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12:02 am Monday, 15th June, 2020
Be true to yourself and all will follow. Time in life is measured by now and not the future or the past. Every moment in life is a gift and should be treated as that a wonderful gift. The older you get time will tell you that the moment will never be static each moment is to be appreciated and lived to the maximum. Live life, love life and grab it with both hands. Be your own best friend and life will take you to peace. Every day is an amazing day. |
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9:10 pm Monday, 15th June, 2020
Wow! Well done you are so brave xx |
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11:13 am Tuesday, 16th June, 2020
🍆 |
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2:31 pm Tuesday, 16th June, 2020
You look great girl love to meet up with you for a great time |
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3:57 am Wednesday, 17th June, 2020
a person must always have a code or credo that they live by. one of these that should always begin with, to thine own self be true the discovery of ones self is the most difficult struggle we face. if you wish to be fully trans and that give you a greater sense of freedom being who you feel and or are meant to be then so be it after all it is your life. you have to live it ,so why not be and make it the happiest life you can. my best to you which ever way and how ever you decide. |
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5:35 pm Wednesday, 17th June, 2020
So brave to do that hon xx |
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8:02 pm Wednesday, 17th June, 2020
Hi |
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11:55 pm Wednesday, 17th June, 2020
Hello sweetie how are you doing, I just seen your picture and I think you look very hot, what is your favourite thing about a man. |
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3:07 pm Tuesday, 23rd June, 2020
Well done and all the best for your new future 🙂 |
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11:33 am Monday, 29th June, 2020
Hello sweetheart ❤️ I'm from ballygunge Kolkata West Bengal How are you doing today where do you live |
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11:45 am Monday, 29th June, 2020
Good morning let's get together |
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12:14 pm Monday, 29th June, 2020
That's the way to do it and then you can get a new way of lifestyle and have fun find a match to be with and have sexual relations with and love it |
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1:05 pm Monday, 29th June, 2020
Hi |
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7:54 pm Monday, 29th June, 2020
Your something special |
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11:29 pm Monday, 29th June, 2020
You did very well and I’m sure you look very sexy in that dress honey |
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4:10 am Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
I like your story |
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1:13 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Wish I had your courage sweetheart XOXO |
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1:25 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Hi I’m looking for that I’m a man |
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1:45 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Hello beautiful sweet big cock trannys only I love chicks with beautiful big cocks |
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2:33 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Hi baby |
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3:57 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Just be your self |
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6:01 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Hi |
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8:29 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
Love all you said and would enjoy a chat. Tony Gort |
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11:06 pm Tuesday, 30th June, 2020
If I was your Mom I would be so proud of you. It is so important that we ( at any age) can be true to ourselves. Congratulations. |
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5:26 am Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Hay |
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6:17 am Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Hot |
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8:46 am Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Nice |
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9:00 am Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Hlo mom |
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11:10 am Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Your family is your family... accept, take it or leave it... you are who you are, if you can be loved by others them family needs to bend and accept |
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12:31 pm Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Hi darling you are very sexy love to kiss your lips |
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6:31 pm Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
Hi😍 |
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6:56 pm Wednesday, 1st July, 2020
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10:05 am Thursday, 2nd July, 2020
Hi sexi |
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10:36 pm Friday, 3rd July, 2020
I wish I was as brave as you. Lots of respect x |
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12:29 am Saturday, 4th July, 2020
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2:41 pm Wednesday, 8th July, 2020
Hello |
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2:41 pm Wednesday, 8th July, 2020
Hello |
