Dealing With The Green-Eyed Monster When Swinging Blog Discussion

Jealousy is an obvious issue that you need to address before you even contemplate commencing swinging. Not dealing with this elephant in the room beforehand will certainly come back to bite you in the rear - and not in a fun way! Anyone can be susceptible to the green-eyed monster but if the thought of or sight of a partner being shared gets you particularly upset, swinging might not be your bag and you shouldn’t feel ashamed or upset that you become jealous about this scenario with someone who you have strong emotional ties to.


If you feel like you could separate your emotions from sexual contact when sharing someone and view swinging or open relationships simply as an enhancement to you and your partner’s sex lives whilst still sharing your emotional intimacy which is unaffected as a result, then sharing sexual adventures with other people outside a relationship may very well be for you.
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Can You Really Handle It?

Whilst many people are turned on by the thought of imagining their partner having sex with someone else, the actual act of seeing it happen can do quite the contrary and some damage. Even for those who have decided to take up swinging, the first time you see your partner with another, it can be a little jarring despite the fact that you might not be “jealous” in your own terms. The best way to adjust to these early stages of swinging is to take things slowly. You don’t need to go gung-ho into full sex, why not try out a bit of soft swapping first or even just have someone else watch you and your partner getting down to business to dip your toe into the water?



Communication is Key

Another important factor to think about is communication, not just prior to beginning swinging but throughout and following. Grinning and bearing it is NOT a good way to handle things and you don’t want anything to crop up that you haven’t already discussed and hashed out which could potentially be an issue. In the heat of the passion, a discussion on how one another is feeling is going to be a major buzzkill so perhaps settle on a signal which is quick and simple to communicate with one another on how you’re both feeling without needing to speak. For example, a wink to ask ‘You ok?’ and simple one nod or head shake in reply to convey how you’re getting on being positive or negative, relaying should you want to carry on or stop.


Know Your Boundaries

It does help to set boundaries no matter what level of swinging you happen to be at and goes hand in hand with the communication aspect we’ve already spoken of. Dig down deep and decide on what your limits are, if any and disclose them to your partner. Perhaps the thought of them receiving oral sex from someone else turns you on no end but then when you imagine them having intercourse with someone beside you, you become waterlogged. That’s ok, everyone is going to be different in what they feel they can handle and there’s no shame in your boundaries. You may even surprise yourself when reaching the point where you think are your limits with how comfortable you are with it all and decide that you could go even further.

Know You’re Sexy

A big factor which can massively affect how jealous someone becomes is their self-esteem or lack thereof. You need to know how sexy you are and sharing a partner will be much easier if you have that self-belief. Also remember that on the flip-side, they could be dealing with the green-eyed monster at the thought of sharing you, so you are both in the same boat.
If you are capable of separating your emotions from sex in this way, any form of partner sharing can be sexy and enhance your sex life as opposed to hinder it, you do need to be prepared and on the same page as your partner however.

Could you handle seeing your partner getting it on with someone else? If you’re already into the swinging lifestyle or are in an open relationship what are your coping tips should you have any? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

M x

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