Genital jewellery seems to be the latest question I am asked about in my surgery on Harley Street. You simply wouldn't believe some of the piercings I've seen when they've gone all gammy and pus filled.
One particular patient, Mr M, had a Prince Albert....more like the whole Royal family hanging off his bell end! The damn thing looked like a 20 tonne bow shackle. Unfortunately it was no longer in his cock...but in his hand. In the throes of passion with the lights turned low Mr M's partner had inadvertently grasped the shackle instead of the handle of her suitcase full of sex toys under the bed and pulled for all she was worth. The sharp pain which followed the initial yank on the shackle rendered Mr M mute for several seconds....just long enough for his partner to try twice more to yank the case from under the bed. The third pull was sufficient to haul the bounty towards her which all of a sudden became remarkably light and soggy at one end.
The scream that accompanied the pull shattered the mirror and two windows and saw Mr M fall from the bed to the floor spraying type A positive all over the sheep skin rug and wall.
My advice is to choose a piercing in proportion to your endowment instead of showing off.
try walking a mile in your enemies shoes....at the end of the day you have new shoes and a head start on him
