Hello. I am Dr Donatello and I'm offering my services under the Swinger's Hospital Trust to answer any questions swingers may have relating to swinging.
My first patient was Mr X for obvious reasons who wrote to tell me he had an HP sauce bottle stuck in his colon and could I help.
Well, after asking if he had any bacon and thick sliced bread I advised that it has stuck as the colon is quite tight and lined with muscles. These muscles go into spasm when a shit is needed and move faeces along the canal and out through the anus.
Unfortunately his spasms were what was trapping the bottle so I advised him to take a long soak in a radox bath to relax the muscles whilst eating a bowl of bran flakes with powdered senakot sprinkled on top. With some KY liberally inserted into the anus and a few gulps of liquid parafin the bottle should pass.
Success! Mr X passed the bottle but unfortunately whilst getting out of the bath he trod on the slimey bottle, cut his foot, fell over and smashed his head on the sink rendering himself unconscious and lay there until he bled to death.
Sad but hey.....I cant account for every eventuality. If you have a question please add it to the comments and I will answer as soon as possible.
try walking a mile in your enemies shoes....at the end of the day you have new shoes and a head start on him
