A long time ago, before he was in charge of all the smurfs, Abraham used to get texts off of God winding him up and telling him what to do because he was in charge of everyone. Abraham was the guy who told everyone to cut a bit of their knob off for God. He also got a text saying 'kill your son Isaac' which he nearly did til God came back and said 'Dont be fuckin stupid, it was a joke'. Abraham also invented wife swapping when he gave his missus Sarah to Pharoah in exchange for some camels and stuff. Things didnt turn out very well cos bad shit happened to t'Egypt so the Pharoah asked to swap back.
He also knobbed his wife's servant, Hagar and made her pregnant. Sarah found out and the shit hit the fan.
Abraham was a bit two faced because even though he swapped his missus with Pharoah and shagged his servant Hagar, he was responsible for closing down the only swingers club called Sodom and Gomorrah.
try walking a mile in your enemies shoes....at the end of the day you have new shoes and a head start on him
