The Cumming of the Lord

Around about 2,000 years ago Jason Christ was born in Birmingham. This is because although his Mum Marie and Dad Joe lived in Nottingham they couldn't get on the social and had to move to where they were from. Joe was a bit worried as he couldn't remember shagging Marie for ages on account of his crack problem but she spun him a line about the baby being special and more cash on the child benefit plus it would get them off her back telling her she had to get a job.
When Jason was born he was visited by 3 wise men: One from Social Services, Joe's probation officer and a male midwife (cos they have them now).
When Jason got older he decided he didnt want to follow Joe's footsteps and do a HNC in carpentry at college and wanted to do something else so he enrolled in a performing arts course. This taught him loads of magic tricks and he earned money by busking. He did tricks like turning a bottle of Evian into a bottle of Holsten Pils and pulling loads of MacFillet of Fish out of a small takeaway bag. He also did this David Blaine type trick which made people think he was walking on water. He even helped his mate Pete out when the DSS caught up with him for claiming disability and Jason told them he'd cured his bad back.
Wherever Jason went his 12 mates went too. They scammed lots of people with magic tricks and made good money out of it but Inspector Pilate was onto them and was just waiting for one fuck up and he'd have them all in court for ASBOs.
One night in September at MacDonalds they were all eating Big Mac and fries when Jason said 'One of you here has grassed me up. I know who it is and I'm not saying cos that would make me a grass too but when the other 11 find out you is well fucked innit'
Just then the 5-0 came in and nicked Jason. His mate Jude had dobbed him.
Jason got sent to Coventry Magistrates Court and sentenced to 6 months at Feltham Young Offenders Institute.
But he was out by Easter.
Here endeth the lesson

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