'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before christmas and in the bedroom
Not a single light glimmered for to lift up the gloom
When all of a sudden was heard such a ruck
I threw off the sheets and said 'What the fuck?'

Stands followed to the window in a cumbersome dance
As she pulled up her thong and I pulled up me pants
We opened the curtains as far as they'd go
And feasted our eyes on the scene down below

There was Fifty and BiBs with some KY and toys
Putting on a show for the chat girls and boys
And SexyCarol rode on a ten inch dick
With a monster that size it must've been Mick

M3chick was wrapped around M3guy
With not a stitch on and a gleam in her eye
Entwined in a grope were Woodfleet and Red
And Wantsie's stocking hung from the bed

We saw cute Sherrylou and her mate Lushnlusty
Both Yorkshire lasses and both very busty
Mrs Scarpetta was doing the vicar?
It was Mr Scarpetta going deeper and quicker

Candjplay were not being fussy
With a recipe book on how to eat pussy
With No1bitch and Luminol in the middle
They sat either side having a fiddle

Trixie and Cheekybitch with boots made of leather
Just the right footwear for this winter weather
With Classy and KJ and BigGirlBigFun
Each tweaking a nipple or squeezing a bun

HiThere and Noodle presented a farce
As Noods pushed a rodent right up HiThere's arse
She greased it and covered it with lotions and lubes
As Wishy did rope tricks and bound Siren's boobs

MikeOldham arrived with his latest sidekick
Someone from Thailand...a chick with a dick?
BBW4u1 returned once again
Still looking for a virgin and three wise men

Bevcov was stood there with bottles of blue
One in each hand and two up her flue
Zinzan appeared with Jennie in tow
As hrtone gave anjun a blow

Twinsingers and GingerJo arrived after outdoor fun
To watch DevilsFleshFetish dish out a flogging
Staffman and Inglorious came to ravish and pillage
And Dave100 finally made it out of the village

Smashingduo and Locid came over from Spain
With the mile high club on an Easyjet plane
Beems, JoJo and David took up the chance
To come over cheap on Beems' air ambulance

Golddragon and Pinny came in from the East
And Jamesram drove up to join in the feast
And over came Cozzie not at all feeling lonely
As he rode hanging out the back of his pony

TobyLondon then shouted 'Keep the noise down'
'You'll wake up the neighbours and the whole fuckin town'
Blanca and Costa came to show off their tan
And MrPastry walked in shouting 'Hey...you da man!'

MsMini had Domey strapped up by the knackers
For taking the piss out of BA Barracas
AsianPrincess was as demure as can be
Unlike SexyO who was out of his tree

And Mrs SexyO looked on in despair
As he sang 'Teenage Kicks' totally bare
Justsall and 30sCovcpl were fuckin a broom
My fault..I confused my words booking a room

Jeanne wrapped in tinsel and Sunnies in glitter
And Mrstony with 10inches right up the shitter
An awesome sight for all to see
But now it was bedtime for stands and for me

I sighed with relief at the end of the verse
If scatman had showed up things could've been worse
I patted her bum and said 'Enough of this shite'
'Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!'

*apologies to anyone I didn't mention but try getting some nam

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