So, vanity and profanity. Well, I met this girl..............
It's vanity that wants me to tell you all how I pulled this absolute corker, just before Christmas. It was a party, I was on form and getting a bit of attention from various places and it was feeling good. I knew I had pulled the Seven, had a few others in reserve and then there was the Eleven and Half in the houndstooth hat.
I hate themed events and was not intending attending even before I had discovered the party, which was a 40th birthday, was going under the title 'My Checkered Past'. I was only there because a couple of mates came round and forced me into a pair of Rupert Bear trousers and offered to be on my wing for the evening. As I specialise in shame and self-loathing I tend to avoid social situations but given the reassurance that with my colourful history I would likely be 'guest of honour' I hopped in the cab and went.
Turning up with a good looking girl on each arm was doubtless a good start and I was