Biblical proportions

The Bible. History of Mankind or the greatest novel ever written?
I've been looking at quotes from the bible and they got me thinking:

When I was a child I spake as a child 1 Corinthians xiii. 11.
Spake? You obviously still speak as a child. It's 'spoke'
Charity shall cover the multitude of sins 1 Peter iv. 8.
Swingers all go to Oxfam do they?
Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomachs sake 1 Timothy v. 23.
If Carlsberg did biblical quotes....
It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks Acts ix. 5
Playing Chelsea are we?
Man shall not live by bread alone Matthew iv. 4.
Thank God for inventing bacon
Get thee behind me Satan Matthew xvi. 23.
I like it hard and fast doggy style
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness wasupon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face ofthe waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good Genesis i 1-4
Maybe creating light first would've been better than working in the dark? Have you seen what he did to Milton Keynes?
It is good for a man not to touch a woman 1 Corinthians vii. 1
Absolute bollocks! Who wrote that shit?
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot Deuteronomy xix. 21.
God commands us to forgive Matthew v. 4.....so what's it to be?

So?

• Add Comment
• View Blog