The good thing about this site and the chatroom is the eclectic mix of people from all walks of life wih different perspectives, different ideals and experiences and different desires. A pillar of this is that people respect each others wishes on the whole. Each has an opinion and each will listen to the opinions of others. Each understands that sometimes they're not everyone's cup of tea.
Sometimes there are the few that can't accept that others have an opinion and display very disturbing psychotic behaviour when someone dares to say 'Hang on a second...that's wrong isn't it?'
What is behind this behaviour? Have these people gone through life unchallenged? Or maybe they've gone through life constantly challenged and have decided that they wont accept that people have different perspectives to their own and see it as a direct challenge to their very being. The factors are far too varied for anyone to make suppositions with any accuracy.
Then there are those that have absolutely no or very little in the way of social skills. Maybe that's the reason they use the site. It's safer to upset someone from the comfort of your own home safely tucked behind a keyboard and monitor than to venture out into the wide world and spout the kind of nonsense that inevitably rewards them with a punch in the face from someone less forgiving and understanding than some of us.
Then we have the pseudo-intellectuals who see a well thought out piece of prose and then consumed with jealousy or unable to cope with admiration decide they'll do anything to challenge it. They begin to use what psychologists call 'transference'. They take all that subconsciously they know is wrong with themselves and try to put these characteristics onto other people. The proof of the pudding is to delve into what has been exchanged between two parties and profile both. Then swap the text around. you'll see that on one side it fits perfectly and on the other it doesn't bear any resemblance whatsoever. This is transference of what one party feels but wants it to be someone else rather than accept their own flaws.
Understanding is always needed in chatrooms and forums. With understanding we can begin to see the motivation behind the action of some people and begin the process of forgiving them for whatever they have said. The hard bit is to forgive them before they realise they are transferring because they'll see your forgiveness as justification.
Its all a bit mad really isnt it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is, try and see the pther persons point of view before what they've said makes you want to tear their head off. If you can see it then either you can acccept it or alternatively realise that nothing you can say will ever undo the years of psychological damage that this person has endured which has made them the way they are.
Maybe the best thing to do is treat them with the contempt they deserve and ignore it. Yeah sure, they might think they've won but it's not a contest. Its about giving a true account of who you are and being able to stand up and be counted. Time tells in the end and you'll find it's you who gets the whispers and pm's of encouragement. If your true self comes through it's you who people will meet.
try walking a mile in your enemies shoes....at the end of the day you have new shoes and a head start on him
