Lifestyle? Or simply a current fad in your life?

Darling Erotic: I think people need different things at different times of their lives. Nature dictates to always be seeking a way to evolve, to get better, to change into a different being even.

Perhaps, for a while it was OK to be here, to meet and to keep it NSA. However, it is not mandatory to do it all the time. I think it is also important to reflect and to see other alternatives or just to be you in your own and enjoy just simple things that do not involve intimacy if it what you feel.

You own your life and you know what the best is for you. If you need a break from meeting then take it. As Seven said, you could always come back to them. Love u to bits.

img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

This is a very opportune topic as far as I'm personally concerned, and I found myself nodding at a lot of the comments.

As I state on my profile, I never really considered being here to represent a 'lifestyle'. I was simply following my instincts as a man and as a human being. Perhaps the term 'lifestyle' is better suited to those who regularly attend swing clubs and for whom public recognition in that sort of sphere is important.

Unlike some on this site, perhaps, I've been a veteran father, and (I think) a fairly successful one, and I'm fortunate to be on good terms with my four (sic) grown-up kids. Keeping in touch with them and continuing to be a mentor keeps me pretty occupied, so I never for one moment feel 'lonely' because I know they are out there. In addition, I'm fairly creative and enjoy a number of 'non-sexual' activities in the real world. Therefore I tend not to be a needy person, and at this stage of my life, I'm pretty happy with the balance I've found. Being free to make my own decisions about what is good or bad for me, and to organize my daily life according to how I think fit, is paramount, and for this reason I would not make a good dedicated 'boyfriend' for any woman who wants something serious, or (dare I say it?) 'romance'. :-) I guess I've done all that when I needed to, or - as FFP puts it - I've 'evolved'.

The fact remains, though, that I am still a 'normal' man with 'normal' urges. I've always had a holistic appreciation of Nature, and sexual union is a vital component of that, being a primal vehicle for my personal joy and fulfillment. This is basically the reason I am here, but I'm also fascinated by the sheer variety of human sexual expression, and the blogs have been a productive way of tapping into that sexual collective consciousness.

I think a lot of people have a rather one-dimensional view of 'romance' as being a sort of all-or-nothing commitment. This serves a purpose when we are young and in the stages of nest-building, but I'm no longer at that stage. I am still a 'romantic', but these days perhaps on a more outwardly looking level: I feel a little sorry for the Moon, which is trapped in its orbit and holds the Earth in a rapt, perpetual gaze. I prefer to look outwards because the possibilities are endless. I've found I get on far better with women who share this philosophy.

Deborose makes a valid point about time being of the essence at this stage in life. Opportunities for forging new connections become increasingly limited, so by necessity I've had to become more discerning and selective. This doesn't mean I'm a snob - it simply means I don't want to waste precious time pursuing someone who doesn't meet all of my criteria, and then end up having a less than thrilling encounter that leaves both parties feeling let down at best, or degraded or embarrassed at worst. Some people may not care so much, or may be simply willing to settle for a quick fix: on the one hand, yes, they may be 'oversexed'.....but on the other they may be terribly lonely.

Here in Japan they have a saying that applies to human interaction: 'Ichigo-ichie'.
It's difficult to translate, but basically it means 'treasure the moment, for it may never return', or in other words 'do your best for someone in the time you're together'. This is rather different from 'carpe diem', which has a rather more selfish connotation of 'seizing the opportunity' :-) The notion that two random but like-minded strangers can treasure their brief interaction in a setting of mutual respect is, I think, far more 'romantic' than demanding clinginess. There is beauty in ephemerality because nothing is taken for granted, and - after all - we are just ephemeral dust-eddies in the desert of life :-)

I don't think that I have a lifestyle ! I'm a great believer in serendipity and rather enjoy the surprises and new experiences that pop up now and then.Adopting a hard and fast attitude in life,may mean that some nice things which you had hitherto never thought of, bypass you.

Fetch: Serendipity - a great approach, and I must admit it has coloured my actions to a degree. There's a lot to be said for going with the flow of life and maintaining an optimistic expectation that something good may be just over the horizon.

Mac: "multiple references to princes and white horses from 45 year old mothers" :-) Couldn't agree more. I hate to be seen as a pitiless cynic, but sometimes I've encountered some astonishing examples of emotional immaturity. Some people in mid to late middle age seem unable to free themselves of teenage romantic idealism. You'd think they would have moved on a bit by now :-) On the other hand, they may feel that life has romantically short-changed them, and so they continue to live in hope of the ultimate, when in fact they'd be happier pursuing more realistic horizons.

MsV: Nothing wrong with high standards - and I'm the same :-) It's all down to realistic standards.

Me - i stumbled or more so happened upon 'The Hub' purely by accident (whilst researching porn of all things). I've stayed for a number of years, chatting and making friends with many people then in the past year or so dabbling here on the blogs.

Of late i've had many curve balls thrown in my direction so have been spending ever increasing spells away for the site.
The universe on the whole has set me many challenges be they twists and turns, curves or bends in the road and many many forks in the road to choose which path to follow. But i feel life never gives us a straight or predictable path, so i'm just rolling with things at the moment. Sometimes we all have to adapt or make changes,but the thing is life still goes on and we continue on our journey through life.

Will i return in the way to the way i used to frequent the site - 'Mibbes aye, Mibbes naw'......
Alas my crystal ball is broken so i can't see what the future holds. Till i the mist clears from recent events the required my attention i don't really know what the future holds, never mind knowing whether i'll stay as a fixture on the site. I will of course keep in touch with a very small select group of people whom have become very dear to me regardless of whether i make a bid for freedom of stay within the community that is 'The Hub'. My advice to anyone is to enjoy their journey through this crazy thing called life, you never know what will happen....... 'lightning may strike' :-) x

*that required

Deborose: I think the perception of the word romance could be interpreted in a different ways by different men or women. I am a total romantic. However, that does not mean I cant be pragmatic andor realistic in life when needed. I am sure you are the same.

To believe a woman will be rescued by a Prince or that a woman needs a man in her life to provide safety and comfort is a thing of the past for sure. However, there is nothing wrong about changing priorities in life. Everyone has explained their reasons to be here and we should respect them all. I have always said as long as it makes you happy and you dont hurt anyone then I would go for it.

Indepth and Sunshine: Now you have made me think about balls….and chocolates img src="imagesadultemoticons011.gif"

Oh heck. Much as I would prefer to steer clear of this topic I feel drawn towards it because a lot if clever and incisive stuff has been said and it is a question that I routinely find myself asking - of myself. My own position, such as it is, is that like many other aspects of my life dabbling here and elsewhere will last as long as it lasts, which is to say until the minuses (and there are many) outweigh the pluses. Not that I am without a certain amount of drive when it comes to the so-called swinging (or as I prefer sexually liberated) lifestyle, but more and more I am content to simply go with the flow. If an opportunity for a nice little adventure arises, then I am very happy to indulge, but by the same token if nothing comes along then that is fine too. I have lots of distractions, good and bad, to fill my day but regardless of how busy I am I try and log on here and perhaps make a blog contribution or go and flirt mercilessly in the chatroom. I like the fleeting nature of the ships-in-the-night style of sexlife, and yet I truly value the folks that I have met here and with whom I stay in touch.

As a result I am very firmly on the fence when it comes to whether I am here for the long haul or simply staying around only till I get bored and am eligible for a bus pass. It does seem to me though that on balance, as long as there are folks like you to exchange notes with then I will probably be sticking around.

Now - adventures anyone??

Where are you off to Mr Mac?

Rigger's post made me mindful of my very first blog on here, which was about how long a person can persist with this "hobby" before starting to look faintly ridiculous. It wasn't a popular blog at the time because I suspect for some people it stirred up some slightly uncomfortable associations (that and the fact it wasn't about food or memorable poprock song lyrics....:-) However, we have all moved on since then, and perhaps become a little more thoughtful about this topic. I'm with Rigger in being a fence-sitter, while recognizing that there *will* come a point when the effort expended no longer justifies the returns. As I say above, I have plenty of things to occupy myself in the real world, and participating in chat is one of those areas where I feel my time could be spent more profitably doing something else. There simply aren't enough hours in the day, as far as I'm concerned, and sometimes I wonder where people get all this spare time to fritter :-)

Had I not taken the plunge over a decade ago, I dread to think what kind of a state I'd have been in by now, so I'm raising a glass to the internet, which came into its heyday just in time to save me :-) For a geeky weed, I've had an amazing run, and sometimes wonder how I managed it, so if I feel the need to retire in the next year or three, I'll have no complaints and it will be a relatively easy transition.

Is it a fad? If it is, it's the longest fad I've experienced (2 years).

Is it a lifestyle? Perhaps ... In that I have my values, preferences and a certain outlook on this sex 'stuff' (that's a technical term). Like Fetch, I take the serendipity approach.

Not sure what it is to be honest; I just know I'm not drawn to it as often as I was a year or so ago. My time is taken up with family, work and a new, much healthier hobby.

There are things with this site that frustrate and annoy me and people often disappoint, but that's no different to the real world. However, there are still some good eggs around and they're the ones that keep me visiting ... for now.

Oh, I'm also here for the huge, massive, ginormous willy photos :-)

"I'm also here for the huge, massive, ginormous willy photos"

Yes Dixon told me this morning he felt as though someone had walked on his grave :-)


Sisy: When Dixon retires and I'm no longer able to stick around to scavenge his road-kill, I'll probably change my name and return to haunt the blogs in another form. I suppose that would be mildly diverting :-)

"Dixon told me this morning he felt as though someone had walked on his grave"

I have that effect on people ... It's a gift :-)

Now, now......you shouldn't knock BHS. Although Dixon has an aversion to Y-fronts, BHS slips (with no fly) have formed the bulk of his wardrobe these last 10 years or so. Oh.....and so far, he has managed to remain reasonably continent :-) He wouldn't be seen dead (or perhaps "limp"??) in anything with Kalvin Cline written on it.

Or should that be Calvin Kline....??? Speaks volumes for D's knowledge of fashion :-)

KLEIN ... !

Jeez ... 😀

Eine Kline Knackermuzak?

Luv2 obviously takes branded fashion goods seriously. Better creep off into a corner and suck my thumb :-)

I feel like I'm playing my Anne Hathaway to her Meryl Streep :-)

That sounds kinky 😜

I think Skebbie is onto something here...lol

I used to work with a lass who got her knickers from c&a...or that's what the label apparently said...

Luv2Suc. Just remember this, if you walk on my grave,or even dance on it,keep your knickers on as I'll be looing up !img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Oo-er!

Had to read that a second time Fetch before I realised you actually meant "looking".

Oh and for the record Luv2 definitely has the effect..

Trying not to be cheeky Woosh but they regulars have been trying to deter people advertising meets people trying to make arrangements on the blogs as posts of that kind are better suited to the 'Forums' or 'Events' sections of the site. this subject has been raised on siteadminmaria's post about blog rules. Also it's a bit rude to use a blog that someone else has taken the time to write to try make plans or arrangements.

should read *the regulars

I've met two male bloggers face to face and had a good laugh: one in London and one in my home town. However they are now ex-bloggers, sadly. Yes it would be fun to have a blog social, but as we are so widely scattered, the venue would be a headache.

I would love to meet bloggers for sure. I would find amazing to be able to have a stimulating exchange of words :)

Problem like Open and Skebbie would be location for me. However, I will be there by Xmas and I am thinking I would not mind to arrange either a pre Xmas gathering or New Year in Manchester (well we could say almost central location Sisy?)

If we are brewing something here? I am all for it. img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

Oooo so it seems i'm not one of the 'lovely bunch', Hmm like i care about what some think that don't figure in my life, they are merely a bit part player in the grand scheme of things. But yet feel they can judge others and place people in categories. So does that mean if you are not in the 'lovely bunch' category that you are in that 'horrid category', just curious?

I did and still do take umbrage to one line blogs that are nothing but an advert for meets. As set sent out in the new Blog Guidelines, it is not acceptable to place posts seeking meets on a blog written by another member. So i can see why Mr'S posted the comment that he has on this blog. Though i do think Woosh meant no harm and it was not posted really as a 'seeking meet' post.

The thing i don't like about one line meet advert blogs, is that they knock off decent 'real' blogs that some people have taken the time to write and put some thought into before posting. Just my opinion which won't change just because it may mean that i'm not deemed 'good enough' to be classed as one of the 'lovely bunch' :-) x

Where oh where did i mention names? Had to peep again as i thought i'd had a senior moment :-
Alas i'm only here for the blogs at the moment so inbox mailing anyone isn't on my list of things to do :-) x

Pot kettle black, me thinks :-) x

Been busy this past couple of weeks and it appears i have missed something..... what's with the vanishing people?

You could ask the audience, but I'm not entirely sure that would help! Anybody fancy a brew??

Giggles te he he. How many to make a record collection Lillie? Or should i say music collection as records seem to be a thing of the past?...... showing my age yet again!! :-) x

Sorry been away "entertaining" in Tokyo, and it seems quite a lot of "shit has been goin' down" in the last 48 h..... :-) (Best gangsta accent :-)

Morticia: Yes......there seems to have been a "mass extinction event". All rather sad but I'm sure the conspiracy theorists will be linking it to the recent crisis in blog moderation and the well-meaning but less than adequate efforts to alleviate the situation. If the powers that be really *do* feel they have their fingers on the pulse of the blogs, then hopefully this will finally ram home the fact that the current policy is inadequate, and is discouraging people from being original and creative.

MsV: Re. vignettes from the hypothetical bloggers' social............I'm devastated !! I always thought you liked me for my intellect (sob, sob......) :-)

Clearly I have missed something (perhaps through blog moderation), but......Sanshain.......I'm totally baffled by your reference to the "lovely bunch". What do you mean? Happy to field a PM if necessary.....

But Lil.....how can you get round rules that have "flexible goalposts" ??? :-)

......in the metaphorical sense, of course ;-)