This past year or so has been an eye opener for me. I've had my ups and downs. A roller coaster of a life it has been.
And just when you think all's shit, something happens to make it all worthwhile again.
I've been so stressed, so anxious, so unhappy in my private life, it just spills over into everything else. I've been holding onto that last thread for so long, hoping for it to blossom into something real.
I'm resigned to the fact that the One I Want doesn't want me in the same way; chatting on occasion is all I'll ever get. So be it. I guess. Though I don't think I'll ever completely let go. Hope is a powerful emotion.
In any case, I've been chatting with a few guys who are absolutely fabulous, and worth my energy. I'm planning to meet soon after a long time without. It all feels new and slightly scary again.
Will I, can I, just let go and go for it???
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3:51 pm Tuesday, 3rd September, 2013
EG: I gave up all hope aeons ago. In fact it's not that bad: you should try it. It actually empowers you: No more "lingering hopefully" by the phone or PC, no more mental angst to interfere with your daily life, no more profound disappointment when you realize that several months of emotional investment have been summarily washed down the plughole. |
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10:26 pm Tuesday, 3rd September, 2013
I see you are an Ian McEwan fan too :-) |
