I've decided that a quick Q&A session is the best way to let you know a bit more about me. To make things a bit more interesting, I've taken some of the questions from an online job-search website.
Q: Why am I a member of Swinging Heaven?
A: In a word, sex! Why else is anyone on this site?
Q: Why haven't I got any photos on my profile?
A: I don't take a good photo. Although I think I'm reasonably presentable-looking in the flesh, there's always a 'look at the state of that' moment whenever I see myself in a photo. This is bad enough when I've got some clothes on, so a photo of me 'tackle out' is likely to be at least 100 times worse. Hence no photos.
Q: So what do I look like then?
A: Well, brown eyes, though I wear glasses. Brown hair too, though gradually turning a bit grey at the temples. And I'm not as thin as I used to be. Basically, I'm gradually falling apart as I progress through my thirties. As far as 'assets' are concerned, I've checked 'medium' on the profile, as I'd like to think that the 'old chap' falls into the average range, though I'm not familiar enough with other men's equipment to say for sure what's the standard size - I assume 10 inches is fairly normal (joking! - I wouldn't want to raise any unrealistic expectations).
Q: If you could relive the last 10 years of your life, what would you do differently?
A: One from the online jobsearch site, but a good question nonetheless! Not to be crude, but I think I'd certainly try to have more sex. It's an old truism I know, but no-one on their deathbed says 'I wish I'd had less sex'. Ten years ago, I was considerably thinner than I am now, and met a few women who were willing to sleep with me, but I didn't make enough of the opportunities at the time. Now I'm older, and have less opportunity for meeting women, and I curse my younger self for being so dumb.
Q: Single or married?
A: I'm very very single, I'm afraid.
Q: What type of person am I looking to meet?
A: Well, beggars can't be choosers, so I wouldn't want to narrow my options too much. In as far as I could be said to have a type, I do like fairly short curvy women with curly dark hair, but really, I'm not fussy.
Q: So, women only then?
A: Afraid so. I've never been with a man, so I can't say for definite, but I don't think it'd be something I'd be interested in. I suppose a couple would be OK, though, so long as the main focus was on the woman (and both me and the other man kept our eyes shut at all times!)
Q: Age?
A: I'm 34 at the moment, and I'm looking to meet women between about 30 and 45. However, I wouldn't want to appear ageist, and I'd be more than happy to extend the upper end of this range.
Q: Do you prefer to work independently or on a team?
A: Another one from the job site, but strangely appropriate to the last question! I've not selected 'Group Sex' or 'Gang Bangs' in the activities section of my profile, again because I've never taken part in any. To be honest, I'd be worried that I didn't know the etiquette. I mean, does everyone just pile in, or do you take a number? That said, I've been 'working independently' for a number of years now, and by god my wrist is getting sore!
Q: Don’t drink don’t smoke – what do you do?
A: Ah, a break from the online job-search, and instead a question from Adam and the Ants. Well, although I don't smoke, I do drink, though only really when I'm out. As far as sex is concerned, you already know that I'm straight, and that I'm not really looking for group, at least initially, but I haven't really said what I do do (pause for infantile snigger at the phrase 'do do'). Despite making a fairly childish joke about it, I'm not at all into watersports or whatever the associated 'number 2' fetish is. I do really like oral, particularly burying my head in the lap of a BBW. I've never really tried S&M, and I don't think I'd like to be hurt or to hurt anyone else, but I do quite fancy some mild restraint, blindfolding and teasing.
Q: Where am I?
A: A question I ask more and more frequently as I get older. I'm based in Glasgow at the moment, though I'm prepared to travel. I do have a flat, so could also accomodate.
Q: Why should you hire me?
A: Well, if you're in the market for some clumsily-performed sex, you could do a lot worse, and I would be pathetically grateful!
Seeking Female
Is it your profile? Change your privacy settings to alter what details are showing here.
| Gender | Male | |
| Age | 49 | |
| Location | UK, Scotland: Glasgow, Glasgow | |
| 🌈 Sexuality | Straight | |
| 🌎 Ethnicity | White / Caucasian | |
| 🚬 Smoke | No | |
| 🍷 Drink | Socially | |
| 💊 Drugs | No | |
| 🛡️ Safe Sex | Always | |
| 📏 Height | 5ft 11in (180 cm) | |
| ⌛ Body Type | A few extra pounds | |
| 👱 Hair Colour | Dark Brown | |
| 🦵 Body hair | Natural | |
