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Swinging with the Green-Eyed Monster

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On our Big Swinger Survey, we asked the question: If you swing with a partner, do you get jealous?

For 39% it's no chance of being an issue as they swing alone and a substantial 43% of the people who answered are couples who do swing but never have jealousy issues. 15% told us it is sometimes a problem but it never amounts to anything, whilst the last 3% do experience some relationship hiccups due to the green-eyed monster.

Does sex outside you and your partner ever cause you any problems with jealousy and affect your relationship?

Perhaps you ride solo for the reason of avoiding the complexities a swing may cause if you were otherwise attached?

Maybe even you have your own experience of jealousy from swinging and have some coping tips?

Pembo1

Swinging with the Green Eyed Monster

Although I'm single, I have occasional times when I get hooked up with a particular gf or fb and I would never do so unless swinging was part of the deal - at the least, to be open and allow each other to swing, but preferably to swing together, because swinging is too important a part of my lifestyle to give it up for one person, however much I care for her.

I've found, a fairly strong theme among women I meet who are really keen to swing themselves - to be taken by me to swingers clubs or indulge in swinging in other ways where they get to enjoy sex with others, or even to just enjoy sex with others with my consent and knowledge, yet they openly admit that, when it's the other way round, they experience feelings of jealousy. They have even had problems when we're at the same venue and they are getting a whole load of wonderful action, but I'm doing so with somebody else - after the event they reveal that they felt jealous. My current gf has sex with others on a regular basis and tells me all about it, and I'm happy with it, and she wants to continue that way, but she openly admits that it's a bit more of a strain for her to know that I'm having sex with others - she's said she will learn to deal with it, but it's still an issue for her.

As for my own feelings, everything's fine and I don't have a problem with jealousy in swinging if everything is discussed openly. I think the only time the green eyed monster does emerge is if my partner (whether full gf or just fb) plays with somebody else without having told me about it, or discussed it. My view of the way a couple enjoys swinging is that they share the enjoyment of each other's very open sexual lives, and it's the sharing that makes it so special. So if you're not sharing, it begins to feel as if your role in her swinging life is no longer as special as it was. The sharing may be literally sharing - participating in the same group fun, or it may be going to a swingers club or party but playing separately, or it may be completely playing separately, but sharing all of the details. Doing anything else still feels like cheating to me, and does cause the green eyed monster to raise it's head - very slightly.

Do other people find this?

Taylora2

Omg snap!!

I am a female and I'm so glad I stumbled across your story because I can relate to your gf! As a female we r naturally going to turn pretty much everything into an emotional event, it took for me to split with my current bf and to have sex with other men to realise that sex is sex! As a female we make the mistake of seeing our boyfriends sexing another woman and swing it as a love thing ! Ladies stop it ! Sex is amazing and even more so when you can both have sec with other people and the biggest turn on for me with that is that we can talk about it afterwards and that I know my man has is open and honest with me always! It's not the cheating that I would have a problem with like you said it's the being open and 100% honest that is important! After all if your with a hottie ..... It would be rude not tosh are lol !!
Pembo1

RE:Omg snap!!

@Taylora2,
The truly amazing part for me is that my gf most definitely does see sex is simply that - sex - she's highly matter of fact about it when it comes to herself - yet still she feels the pangs of jealousy when it comes to her bf (me) - maybe, taken across all guys and over the years, guys have given women too many reasons to make women think that men's sex with another woman IS in fact a betrayal - but my gf is highly secure in the knowledge that this is not true of me, yet still she feels the pangs - I think it must just be too deeply rooted to dispel even when there is good reason to trust.

As you say, sharing is such a wonderful pleasure, it makes me glow when I see my gf have good sex with someone else, or when she tells me about it. And I think in her way, she feels the same - but the conflict remains. She is trying very hard (and I think mostly succeeding) to overcome it.

Thanks for your very interesting response.