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swinging alone when married

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I'm new to this site and only joined because i know my marriage is pretty much over, but like you have always had a high sex drive.I suspected for months that my wife was cheating and it ate me up inside until I eventually confronted her and she admitted it,I forgave her and hoped we could move on, but it is not to be.Your wife will eventually suspect something and you need to ask yourself how you would feel if it was you who was suspicious of her.I'ts just my opinion but you need to sit down and talk.(you never know it could just be you she is not interseted sexually). On a lighter note, put her in a room with another woman and the only thing they will ask each other is "have you read that Shades of Grey book".I'll guarantee within an hour she'll have her own copy, and after that who knows.
Boris01

RE:swinging alone when married

It's a tricky one, I can sympathise with a situation when there are things you need that an otherwise happy marriage can't provide for whatever reason. Is your partner aware of the difficulty you are having, and is it possible to have an open an honest conversation to explore options that will meet your needs without damaging your relationship?

Just be honest

You need to honest with your Mrs mate. Mine was up for sex when she felt like it but then we a barren spell every now and again. I was working with a married woman who fancied the pants off me and I told the Mrs who said go for it! After a few weeks talking about it I did; and I was regularly shagging both of them for 5 years - we did 3somes the lot till we moved abroad. My wife loved it and she still gets off on it.

You could be surprised with a bit of honesty, I was, and I've never looked back. I love my wife and we have great sex more often than most now, and I have to license to play (safely) as well!
Boris01

RE:Just be honest

Good advice.
xandax

RE:RE:Just be honest

Thanks guys for all these thoughts. Trouble is we have talked about it and she just has no interest in sex - 'thats something you do when first married' - and we've been married 20 years. Her approach is that sex is just not important enough to 'do' now, but it is important enough for me to be banned from getting it elsewhere by any other route. Am I just being sexist or is that typical female logic ????? How can you argue against that ??

Maybe its back to 'self abuse'... img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

rowena1957

Typical female logic

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Mine were the same, with genders reversed, until we had 'the talk' and agreed to try something different. As a result, I have been 'playing away' with permission for a couple of years now. It seemed like a good solution however it only resolved HIS issues, not mine. He no longer had to make an effort, I was not climbing the walls with frustration. We did not have the 'epiphany'Cruiser43 experienced, rather it has driven a bigger wedge between us. He is ready for pipe and slippers, I want more fun so we are going our separate ways. In the long run, probably the best thing for me, being selfish about it.
I suppose it all depends on what ELSE you have that you value in your relationship. If it is worth saving, maybe going to Relate would help. Just don't tar all us girls with the same brush. Best of luck xxx
xandax

RE:Typical female logic

Apologies to all you gorgeous logical ladies out there, I was just playing up to the classic stereotype with humourous intent. Certainly no offence ever intended !!

How on earth did you manage to pursuade your ex to let you 'play away' ? Absolutely the only thing missing from our relationship is the sex, all the rest is great. While external (to the marriage)sex is far from ideal it would at least partly fill the gap. A chap needs his exercise from time to time. Ho hum, back to celebacy I suspect.
trueccentric

may i suggest

Although my wife doesnt want me to do the same, we enjoy sex alot. i 'accidentally' make her watch porn and she'll simply find the right kind of porn she'd enjoy. i simply leave the PC on a nice porn site and download a few threesomes here and there in the other tabs and simply say to her that you wish to experience the same thing as the ones in the movie and just maybe she might say the words that you want to hear. i think she just needs some visual and audio stimulation. go for the female friendly movies first. it turns my wife on when she watches FFM action. lights up my night!

swinging alone

not a good idea hubby and I agreed to be together at every meet or club fun weather I get to play or he did some times with another couple we always did it together so no secrets honesty all the way. you will find it to be more fun no guilty conscience or have to hide things no stress no SECRETS.