ready to receive him

Mostly plagerism

In the interest of not re-inventing the wheel I have copied some text from the sexual health section of IOMfAtS website below. You should however be aware that opinions vary on the safety of giving self enemas especially if you use anything other than water partly as the internal linings can be easily irritated but also quiet readily absorb chemicals. I would also suggest that in the UK I would rather purchase an enema kit via a sex shop and being shy I would opt for an online one where you don't have any embarrassing interaction with staff.

An enema is a simple, repeatable, cleansing operation either done solo, or, if less inhibited, with your partner. It is not in place of taking a dump. So take one. Before the enema I mean. And take as complete a dump as you can. No point in making the enema do more work that necessary.

While you are doing that, read on. No, print this off, dummy! Unless you have one of those online bathrooms with a webcam! If so, I reckon you're already so far ahead of me that you are in fits of laughter.

You are going to need some simple equipment. Ideally you need to visit the pharmacy and get an enema kit, but you might also be a tad shy. It’s easier than asking for condoms! So, let's see what we need.

An enema is an anal washout. It is done by introducing water slowly and gently into the anus with some sort of device, and keeping it there for as long as fifteen minutes before allowing it to leave. And an enema kit is designed to do this.

The kit is like a hot water bottle, with a tube long enough to hang on the hook you have on the bathroom door, and a slim nozzle to insert into the anus to allow the water to trickle in. It contains about two litres of liquid. Two litres is about 70 fluid ounces. A US pint has 16 fluid ounces, an imperial pint has 20 fluid ounces.

If you don’t have a kit, you'll want to improvise. You know the shower heads on a flexible hose on the bath taps?Well, unscrewing the spray head usually reveals a simple small outlet which you can place against but not inside your anus. If using this method you will have to guess the flow rate. Do be very careful of the temperature!

What we are aiming to do is to introduce this two litre volume of body warm water with soap (shampoo but not dandruff shampoo) added into your already empty rectum over a period of about 20 minutes. Yes, that long. We are not aiming to hose you down with so much pressure that you can brush your teeth in the flow. In fact, if you did that you would injure yourself inside. Sometimes the obvious needs to be said.

Now it feels very strange. Very. Especially as you are quite likely to get sudden abdominal cramps at least a couple of times as the fluid goes in. Try to relax them away. They will pass. They just mean that the liquid is doing its work. Maybe passing some obstruction (extra shit) which will be washed out when it comes back down again. If you are using the bathtaps, turn them off until the cramp passes. If the kit, just relax through it.

You will feel full before the full volume is inside. That's normal. Relax again and it will all go gently in.

Now the fun starts. You are going to try to hold this slippery water inside you for as long as possible. I bet you can't do it. The anus leaks! Do not under any circumstance try to answer the front door or the phone at this stage, or you'll be redecorating the walls and replacing the carpet.

Sit on the throne, and let roar.

And when Niagara is done, let it roar again. Coz it will.

If you want, repeat with plain water and rinse. If not, then heck, you are so empty you could eat from the inside anyway. All that is left is to wash the external area to remove splashing, to dry it and to enjoy your new cleanliness.

Sound disgusting?Well, yes, a bit. But it can be erotic. Well, if not, why on earth did you get erect during the process?

Now your partner can literally kiss your arse almost with impunity.