Colorado interests

We are not experienced in swinging, and the fact is we can't seem to find anyone who is willing to "show us the ropes". Honestly, we found a place we really enjoy going which is for adults to experience adventurous intimate encounters....lol. But she is very shy(but i really want to do this) and he is confident but doesnt want to come on to strong, so we are having a tough time with figuring out what is ok and what isnt. Also the last time we went it felt as if we were made fun of because it was his birthday and a couple commented about "must be someones birthday" and it felt as if we were judged because we were not part of their "click". Anyway, we are looking to actually meet up with a couple. He is very athletic and she is bbw with amazing breasts. He is a rockstar in bed and she gives the best blowjobs ever. He is straight but is not afraid of men who arent he just isnt going to be into male on male. She is curious but has never done anything although is wanting to try. (??)