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Self conscious

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First off, hello everyone. I've been reading some of these posts & all of you seem to be really honest with one another, so I'd like to ask everyone a question: How important is a person's weight or size? I am very self-conscious about my body. I'm clean & disease free, but I feel that the opportunity for my wife & I to experience the swinging lifestyle is in jeopardy because of my size.

My wife is a very attractive young woman of 5 feet & approx. 125 lbs. She would have no trouble finding a couple by herself, but she doesn't want that any more than I do. We've been married for over 12 years now & are still very much in love. We don't want to go out & just get some strange....we want this because it turns each other on & we use that even when we're alone. It adds a whole new level of ecstacy & enjoyment to our sex life.

It would make it so much easier for me to pursue this if I knew people weren't obsessed with perfection. I'm confident that when people get to know me, provided they're willing to look over the 325 lbs. & give me a chance to begin with, that they will find that I'm a fun-loving, clean, respectful, & rather intelligent person that has made a very good friend to many people.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not a slovenly person who is so big he can't get around under his own power. To put it in my wife's words: I'm 6 feet tall & carry 325 lbs. pretty well. I'm not some flabby geek sitting behind his computer for hours on end eating twinkies. I play softball, volleyball, horseshoes, & work out occassionally with my brother-in-law. So, it's not all flab.

Anyway, I'm apologize for rambling on so much, but this is something that's really been worrying me lately. I'd just like to know that a few extra pounds won't cost my wife & I something we would enjoy so much.

Thank You.

Vlad.

Re: Self conscious

Hi

Everyone is different and everyone has a different taste. This applies to men and woman likewise. The beauty of dating sites is , that you can find what matches by telling what you are what you look for. Honesty goes a long way in this.

We, for example, look for people at about our 'size' . We are both slim and we both simply can not see anything erotic in a heavily overweighted person. Now, we look for erotic adventures only - not for romance or love or anything similar, hence the physical atraction is VERY important to us.

Just tell people on your profile that you are a biggy....that way you have a better chance to get a reply from somebody who feels attracted by a big body.

By the way, I do sit the whole day in front of a computer (web design and seo) and my weight is 70 KG.....not all IT people a geeks, mate.

happy hunting

wolfycande

Re: Self conscious

I think that last post was just a bit cruel and uncalled for. If you check the perfect computer bodies comments, you will see they admit to being a little picky. It's a matter of personal choice, not everyone out there in the swinging world is into these types of swingers.
Hey, if you are big you are big. I bet you that 99% of people have hang ups about their bodies, it's the way you look at yourself and feel thats important.
Confidence and a smile will get so much more from people..............

Re: Self conscious

I agree about that post being cruel, im a big girl ( size 20) and although ive never actually ventured into swinging yet ( but im working on it) i dont see my size as a problem, great personality and a nice smile does it for me, too many people obsessed with the perfect body image, i prefer something to get to grips with lol.

Re: Self conscious

I don't think that first reply was cruel, more like undiplomaticaly honest... the info and advice was solid though.

Anyways Vlad, I agree with the others, it's a confidence thing. Not everyone out there is looking for underwear model body types (in fact i reckon hardly anyone over the age of 25 is). Sounds like you're a big powerful guy that plenty of women will find very attractive indeed! I wouldn't sweat it mate :)

Re: Self conscious

Size needn't be a problem in swinging. Although I'm new to this site I'm not new to the lifestyle and in my own experience the fact that I'm a few pounds too heavy has never stopped me from meeting and enjoying myself with a variety of lovely ladies, ranging from very slim indeed to the larger lady.

I do find, however, that it is easier in swingers' clubs than over the net so far, possibly because my personality plays in part in encounters in clubs wheras on sites like this initial meetings don't usually take place unless there is some attraction to the photos sent. It might be worth you going to a club and seeing what happens.

Anyway, all the best for you future swinging.

Richard

Re: Self conscious

Big can be very beautiful! All the more to hold on to sweetie, it would be a very boring world in we were all the same - listen to your wife...if she says you carry it well, you carry it well!! good luck xx

Re: Self conscious

Hi Guys,
We dont see it as any problem.
If you check our profile you will see that T is 28yrs old small 5'3'' and very trim body, R is 61yrs old 5'10'' and slightly overweight.
It's certainly never stopped us before despite the age differance.
T always says she is far more interested in the person, their personality and their brain than she ever is in looks.
The usual comment being that often those who look great think they dont have to try so hard whereas the others learn to care about the other person.
So go for it folks is our reply.img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

Re: Self conscious

We, for example, look for people at about our 'size' . We are both slim and we both simply can not see anything erotic in a heavily overweighted person.


Overweight people: Beyonce Knowles, Kate Winslet, Nigella Lawson, Tyra Banks, Sophie Dahl, Charlotte Church, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jennifer Lopez etc etc

Slim People: Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kate Moss, Posh Spice, Teri Hatcher etc etc

Its wrong to stereotype. You can't see anything erotic with the overweight females listed above? You'd rather get jiggy with Paris Hilton?
Come on now! If any women from the overweight list contacted you through this site you'd break the land speed record driving to the meet!
It's gotta be better than banging bones on the skinny ones.

Re: Self conscious

Hi....I would not worry so much. There are many people that really like big men honestly. So have fun and quit worrying so much. Good luck honey!!!!