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Safe sex with more than one couple

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right here goes me and my partner have just started swinging and really enjoy it. we always use condoms with other couples which is easy one condom with the other woman whip it off if i go back to my girl. but can any one tell me whats the done thing if your enjoying more than two women at a time?

The done thing

The done thing is to ask the ladies concerned what they feel. Some people are incredible sexual hygiene conscious, others are just disgusting tramps.

The transmission of older venereal diseases isn't that common these days, but does happen. What's more dodgy are things like clamydia and herpes that can be passed on very easily, can exist often symptomless for the carrier, and can bring misery to the receiver.

Clamydia can lead to infertility. Herpes is a viral condition that ranges from cold sores to genital warts, and really cannot be cured.

So just be careful.

The risk of AIDS is very high with people from sub-Saharan Africa, and those who have consorted over a long period with promiscuous homosexuals who have been too casual about sexual hygiene.

But, hey, swinging is about pleasing and gaining pleasure while you please. Communicate. Ask questions. Make suggestions.

I knew a lady colleague, who it ensued, was exceedingly generous with her charms (and charming thay were, too). She never went to a conference or on a business trip with out relieving many a man of his frustrations. I know not how many partners she had, and yet despite never using protection, she never even had had as much as a non specific urethritis irritation.

But the other side of the coin is that you could pick up something really horrid: remember the words of that old parody:

The night ethereal, you gave me the disease venereal,

My how the ointment stings, these toolish things, remind me of you....

Good hunting, healthy cunting.

Stephen

Re: Safe sex with more than one couple

Discussed this wiht my wife. Absolutely no question - change condoms between partners. You don't know what you might have on the one that's just come out of someone, which is the whole idea of wearing them in the first place. This shows respect for the women involved (after all, you are protecting yourself, so why not think of them as well) and I am sure that the women will notice and appreciate it.

You are lucky enough to be in a scene where there is more than one couple - don't blow it.

Re: Safe sex with more than one couple

hi there we cpl lkn 4 meet 4 sex we new to this and would not like any time wasters we 4 real and really wanna find a meetimg src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif"

Re: The done thing

The risk of AIDS is very high with people from sub-Saharan Africa, and those who have consorted over a long period with promiscuous homosexuals who have been too casual about sexual hygiene.


In Sub Saharan Africa HIVAIDs followed migrations paths of people displaced by political and economic instability. The initial epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa as recognised by the WHO was down to poor medical practice and poor sex education. This migratory spread of HIV and AIDS is becoming a more prominent feature in Europe due to the amount of political and economic refugees created by the end of the Cold War and break up of former Soviet states and Warsaw Pact. Mass freedom of movement within EU states will also have a bearing on the spread of HIV.

Your second point about promiscuous homosexuals. I take it you're claiming anal sex to be a major cause of HIVAIDS? If so then surely anyone who is promiscuous where unprotected anal sex is concerned is a threat to passing HIVAIDS and not just homosexuals? Unless of course there is a gay gene which keeps straight people safe, in which case I stand corrected.

Re: The done thing

The quotes that follow are from stepheninhull's posting on this forum:

The transmission of older venereal diseases isn't that common these days, but does happen. What's more dodgy are things like clamydia and herpes that can be passed on very easily, can exist often symptomless for the carrier, and can bring misery to the receiver.

Clamydia can lead to infertility. Herpes is a viral condition that ranges from cold sores to genital warts, and really cannot be cured.


In an age of so-called "superbugs", I really can't agree that chlamydia and herpes are "more dodgy" than "older venereal diseases". Strains of syphilis and gonorrhoea resistant to all known antibiotics now exist, both are excruciatingly painful and can even be fatal. Syphilis will also drive you mad first - after it has finished travelling up your spinal chord (ruining your motor control on the way) before lodging in your brain. And let's not forget hepatitis B - transmitted in exactly the same way as HIV, yet hundreds of times more infectious and just as incurable. There is a vaccine against hep B, but be prepared for a "lifestyle lecture" to get it.

So just be careful.


I couldn't agree more - but bear in mind that (as it says on every box) condoms do NOT offer absolute protection against STDs. They do HELP prevent transmission IF they are used properly. Ideally, they should be applied before any sexual contact of any sort - so we all rush off to the bathroom to scrub our hands after foreplay before opening the packet, don't we? Yeah right - just like we all change them regularly after 20 minutes or so of use, whether or not we've cum, and wash in between.

In the final analysis, the only safe sex is no sex - we're talking risk minimisation here, not risk elimination, and not all players are diligent.

The risk of AIDS is very high with people from sub-Saharan Africa, and those who have consorted over a long period with promiscuous homosexuals who have been too casual about sexual hygiene.


This comment beggars belief! I have nothing to add to the excellent, informed and considered response posted by Donatello earlier in this forum - other than that both I (having been born in sub-Saharan Africa and having first become sexually active there, but having been lucky enough to have had a decent education and medical care) and the gay bi-guys I know (the vast majority of whom are not players and are no more promiscuous than str8 swingers, and who have been aware of and better informed about the risks of HIV far longer than most), will probably hold off on donning an "unclean" sign and ringing a warning bell for now!

Presumably, stepheninhull has ALWAYS used a condom, every since he lost his virginity, and ALWAYS used a gum-guard during oral sex? And perhaps Donatello could also have a word with certain NHS "professionals" who refuse to accept blood donations from anyone who has lived in Africa, no matter that they are DD free nor have ever eaten BSE infected meat! Or are likewise reluctant to accept blood from anyone who's so much as tried oral sex with a man, albeit not to completion. Or certain GUM clinic staff who consider it "too wasteful of resources" to provide an STD screen to a (tax-paying!) swinger trying to act responsibly after a condom failure, as long as their partners have only ever been of western European origin!

Unfortunately, it's not only the ignorant and prejudiced who die in British hospitals as a result of such hypocrisy and bigotry, it's the innocent too.

But, hey, swinging is about pleasing and gaining pleasure while you please. Communicate. Ask questions. Make suggestions.


OK, but, personally speaking, and referring back to why this forum was started in the first place, whether or not you should change condoms between partners in a group party situation shouldn't even be up for discussion to any self-respecting individual. Catching an STD is bad enough, but being responsible for passing one on is surely worse.

Don't forget also that, whether or not condoms are rated as "safe" to use with them, some lubricants transmit STDs more readily than others.

I knew a lady colleague, who it ensued, was exceedingly generous with her charms (and charming thay were, too). She never went to a conference or on a business trip with out relieving many a man of his frustrations. I know not how many partners she had, and yet despite never using protection, she never even had had as much as a non specific urethritis irritation.

But the other side of the coin is that you could pick up something really horrid


Indeed you could! People like stepheninhull's colleague need to wake up and smell the coffee - we live in a global village now, HIV is pandemic and the older STDs are making a comeback in "new and improved" versions.

Take care of yourself and you'll take care of others into the bargain. img src="imagesadultemoticons007.gif"

Re: The done thing

The risk of AIDS is very high with people from sub-Saharan Africa, and those who have consorted over a long period with promiscuous homosexuals who have been too casual about sexual hygiene.


Higher, IMHO, with a staggering number of "true blue Brits" who believe that a circumcision somehow makes them immune to catching HIV, or that a vasectomy being female makes them incapable of passing it on - both rubbish, and displaying a level of ignorance about the bigger picture akin to the quote above. As the 80's public info TV ads and brochures put it:

"AIDS - don't die of ignorance".

For a more informed viewpoint, you could do worse than consult e.g. the Terrence Higgins Trust website (sorry Steven - the trust is full of "poofs", so you'll probably want to stay off it lest your computer be infected by a virus through interfacing with a "homo" server). I am not gay, btw .

Re: The done thing

Britain and France has a higher aids rate than more than half of the "eastern European" countries.

Re: The done thing

The US state of Texas has had one of the highest HIVAIDS rates amongst heterosexual women since the mid- to late 1980's.

Re: The done thing

And a great deal of Eastern European population has migrated to.........
Great Britain and France.

Re: The done thing

The other thing is how accurate the statistics are. They are going to be more accurate in countries with advanced health care and estimated in those without.
But getting back onto the subject.... if you're changing partners you would be wise to change condoms.

Re: The done thing

We live in Texas and have lived in England and worked with AIDS programs in sub-Saharan Africa. I have to comment that we are DDF, were not in the lifestyle when in England and are just considering it now but none of our family is allowed to give blood just because we lived in England (Mad Cow Disease scare).

Although the vector of the spread can be historically traced through certain groups and cultures, the actual common denominators are ignorance (even in hightly erudite and educated ppl), inconsiderate behavior to others, and global travel. If you are involved and think that avoiding certain races, groups, or even sexual acts is adequate protection or that you don't need to protect your partners, you are in the one group that actually does need to be avoided. On the other hand, that should not leave only celibacy, just safe, considerate behavior recognzing a risk exists and accepting responsibiity for it.