9:58 pm Monday, 21st March, 2005
I have been married for over 25 years and we have produced 2 lovely daughters. I still love my wife but can honestly say there has never been a time that I felt happy with my sex life. I grew up in a middle class family through the 1960's and 70's but far from being a liberated time for everyone I had installed the belief that 'nice' women didn't really like sex, only men did, and women were prepared to participate when they felt 'true love'. Not surprisingly then, once the initial marriage stars had lost their sparkle and the drudgery of working hard to earn a living set in, there was not much sex left. I remember work colleagues telling me at various life stages that things improve - "once they're over 30 they get hornier", "over 40 they want to feel young again" - for me it never happened, in fact it has always got progressively worse. Nowadays I live in a sexless relationship. I even took up the sport of cycle racing many years ago and being so demanding, it was clearly a good sexual substitute. For my wife of course, there is no problem (for her). Her life is what it should be and I'm just over-sexed! For me then, do I leave my wife just for sex? Leave the mother of my children just for a more regular fuck? Such is my dilemma. I only discovered less than 10 years ago what 'real' women are about when I had an affair with a very fit single lady. I have had long discussions with my wife who simple maintains she is 'not a physical person', 'doesn't enjoy being touched', even believes that 'if I really love her I'll accept things as the are'. So I continue to act like a monk, or the best answer for myself and all those around me is a very sexy swing on the side. Maybe a lady in the same position as me with an unloving or absent husband. Splitting up is not always a feasible option, particularly when there is financial interdependency. 'Professional' ladies will usually tell you that they save more marriages than they break, and that I believe is true. I do however have an aversion to paying for sex as I like to please someone else as much as myself, that's the real 'fun'. However 'married men' seeking discrete sex away from home are generally rejected on the contact scene as being simply 'cheating husbands'. Believe me, life is not always that simple! |
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10:11 am Wednesday, 30th March, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Hi there I know exactly how you feel! I am in the same position as you are! I love my wife and have no intention of ever leaving her BUT I do need more sex! Is there any lady out there in the same position as me in Lancashire? Perhaps we could both find sexual fulfilment without going through a divorce?
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9:51 am Monday, 30th May, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Hi Pete,
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12:25 pm Wednesday, 1st June, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Having been in a similar situation for 14 years Pete (until six months ago) I can appreciate how you must feel. Sexual compatibility is very important for a harmonies relationship but naturally you now have other considerations too. Now I'm single and looking I'm hoping to find someone I'm more compatible with sexually this time round, and I'm truly envious of Jose & Gloria. |
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10:11 pm Saturday, 4th June, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Hi pete,
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9:15 pm Wednesday, 8th June, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Pete,
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7:17 am Monday, 11th July, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!Hi across the water.. you will see from my profile that I share your situation. Life is too short to live it in black and white, though I tried living it that way with regard to the marriage vows.
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5:46 pm Monday, 11th July, 2005
Re: Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!I really feel for you guys, because i was the mistress for six years of a lovely man who had the same problem at home. I am very happily married myself, and all he needed was someone to give him a good time in bed.
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12:24 am Sunday, 30th January, 2011
yeh wot evathis is my wedding ring ximg src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif" |
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5:05 pm Sunday, 12th June, 2011
Re: Sex love and marriageYou've touched a chord - I bet there are many more like us. My whole life (not just my sex life) improved a lot when I started 'playing around', and I believe my marriage survives because of that. |
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11:01 pm Wednesday, 31st August, 2011
Re: Sex love and marriageHi ,I'm married but theres just no passion between us. I don't find him attractive, sex is a bore and a chore but we've got kids and feel stuck . X :( :( |
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12:57 am Thursday, 1st September, 2011
RE:Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!pete welcome to he club you have hit the nail on the head |
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11:50 pm Wednesday, 18th January, 2012
RE:RE:Sex love and marriage - not necessarily in that order!As already mention above, there are so many people in the same situation. However most just put up with it and never mention it as sex can be such a taboo subject. For me, my wife and I have drifted apart more and more over our 10 year marriage. I remember having doubts about getting marriage, but thinking it surely would get better. I was so wrong, what little sex I had before I have almost nothing now. To the point I have not have any form of intimacy with her for 18 months. I’ve spoken to her about it, and she doesn’t believe that she has a low sex drive. She seems to priorities her time on house work or the such and would much prefer a quick hoover or dust than a bit of action. |