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sticky situation, any help Would be appreciated

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Hello, I am in a position where I'm going to have to tell someone close to me that I am feeling the want for men dressed as women. I am happy but ever since I was in my teens, I was drawn to chicks with dicks and noticed how hateful ppl were about Gay or cross etc. Over the yrs I'd considered that it was just a phase that I can do without. It appears that these feelings are not going away. I'm in my mid 30s with a family and I have to try and do the right thing. I've not cheated but I have started looking at Shemale porn again and big cocks. Any readers who have been stuck not wanting to hurt the ones they love by telling them, I am Gay. Pls send me a msg, if u can relate x