The Neglectful Gardener

Hiya,There has been a very similar blog about the same kind of thing recently, and my comment on there is kinda the same as I am going to say to you...
I think it's hard sometimes for the 'singles' on here, ( not saying couples never have the same issue, just maybe not as much ) as the lead up to meeting people is often like a seduction, but sometimes intentions wires expectations, call it what you will, do get mixed up, and feelings become involved, I think what is easy to forget on a site like this, is that it is 1st and foremost a site for people to either hook up to have or at least to chat about the subject of sex, and unfortunately as with everyday life off site, there will always be people who get off on the chase, and find it a thrill to actually have people fall for them, only to then lose interest, your friend needs to bear in mind that people are not necessarily on here to have a long term connection, and some people hook up every so often, and only chat once in blue moon in between, if she is wanting more from a meet, and I in no way mean this in a bad way, but she maybe better off joining one of the more ' conventional ' dating sites, where people would expect that level of communication....
Well with that I am off to work at this ridiculous hour on a Sunday, lol.... hope it all works out

If you intend to team up with someone via a site like this, it's important not to harbour excessively high expectations. The phrase "strong declaration of feelings" rang a few alarm bells with me because it sounded as though your friend was a character from a Jane Austen novel "wishing fervently to secure a gentleman with prospects" :-)

It's possible to establish fulfilling connections here that can last a good long time, but in most cases people are looking for something light, and not "for life, to the exclusion of all others". Therefore before becoming entangled it's paramount to confirm that both parties have the same expectations and the same degree of neediness.

I agree that relationships have to be nurtured, and for those who want lifelong mutual exclusivity tankerloads of water and fertilizer need to be constantly at hand. However, for the majority here I would suggest that a handful of phosphate pellets and a few grains of slug-killer applied once every couple of weeks ought to suffice :-)

I wonder, how many people actually enter in a 'relationship' on this or any similar site. Although, you could call any communication a kind of 'relationship'. In general, I would agree with hornycouple....if you are looking for a more in depth relationship then perhaps this is not the ideal site.
But on the other hand, I have to say that I have made very good friends and know of people who actually now live happy together after meeting on a site liker this. And after all...you could say this is a meeting place for special interests just like any other site...be it sport or any other interest.

I wasn't sure if anyone was going to read this let alone respond. Thank you everyone.

Judging by some comments, I seem to have given the impression my friend is some romantic tragic. Let me state this is not the case at all.

skebbie.. it was he who declared HIS strong feelings for her. Not the other way round.

Hornycouple do you recallwho wrote the other blog? I would like to see it. Ty :)

one last thing - if expecting basic good manners means having "excessively high expectations" then I week for mankind.

ginpalace* Yes I understood correctly the first time. What I meant was that if your friend had received such overtures via a site like this, then it's a shame she wasn't a little more cautious at the outset (and perhaps harboured the "high expectations" I was talking about).

Yes I agree that basic good manners are paramount. But instead clearly this was a case of gross deception aimed to ensnare someone who was perhaps needy and vulnerable. I don't think the two are synonymous. On sites like this, unfortunately, it's very much "let the buyer beware".

This first attempt at blogging has been an eye opener. Seems there's more skill to it than I thought.

My friend is not needy, but an incredibly strong, courageous woman who has done more in her life than most people double her age. Nor is she gullible full of silly childish romantic notions. The He in this tale, is not a cad, deliberately deceptive nor a predator, from what I can gather. Yet I seem to have portrayed both of them as such.

The message I was trying to put across is that relationships, and I mean that in the broad sense of the word, not sexualromantic ones, need to be cared for.

Thank you all. I shall try to better in my blogs, if I ever do again, in future.

Don't be hard on yourself, you made it clear you meant relationships in general. I agree with your assertions.

The details in your anecdote were brief, no doubt due to discretion, others simply made (incorrect) assumptions. keep on blogging :)

ginpalace* You shouldn't be put off by any comments from anyone: everyone will have a different take on the situation. I agree relationships have to be nurtured; it's just that the degree of nurturing depends on how deep the relationship becomes. In most cases on sites like this, that's not very deep at all, but of course I'm willing to admit that some people *want* to fall head over heels, and that can make them vulnerable.

Ty whatuwant. And ty to all who responded xx

Ty whatuwant. And ty to all who responded xx

LIFE IS TO SHORT TO ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS. MOVE ON AND MOVE UP INSIDE ONES SELF AS MONEY CAN NOT BUY SELF LOVE NOR CAN IT PAY FOR THE PAIN OF A BREAKUP. RELATIONSHIPS ARE EXACTLY THAT ( SHIPS) AND SHIPS SINK MAYBE NOT ALL OF THEM BUT ONE DAY THEY ALL DO. STAY STRONG AND KEEP HAPPY OXOXOXOX BRAD

There are blogs and there are blogs, but just once in a while a topic comes along that really does get to the heart of some of the contradictions of the swinging lifestyle. Good on you Ginpalace for poking us with a sharp stick and do not for a second hesitate to blog again. In the forest of stuff that inhabits this site the occasional thorny issue is worthy of debate - but that debate will be punctuated with a variety of viewpoints.

Firstly the R word is a regular topic of debate, and no question, respect is key. But as Graham says it takes all sorts to make a sex site.

My own observation though is that your chums experience looks a teensy bit like real life - boy meets girl, boy gets crush on girl, girl reciprocates, a variety of activities occur (some maybe even including swarfega) boy's ardour cools, girl wonders what she did wrong etc etc etc.

It could be argued that sites like this are merely a vehicle that carries that particular tale, a tale that goes on everywhere with or without cyber assistance.

Anyway my top tip is to give your chum a big hug from Rigger and tell her LUDO - Look Up and Drive On.

And you Ginpalace keep on blogging!