Intimations of retirement

Roslyn: Thanks for your comment, which was interesting because it revealed we had something in common. I also went through a long period with no sex (before I signed up as a "swinger"), but that was purely through resignation to "stick it out" for the sake of my family as a sexless married bloke. After that, I sort of reinvented myself and made up for a lot of lost time. I really can't complain because it's been a rich and rewarding decade or so, but I'm now at a point where I'm becoming increasingly aware that nothing can last forever, and that I ought to start planning for a gradual transition into a less sexually active period. It's something we all have to accept eventually.

Curvy: It's not my intention to discourage anyone. We all have our different ways of dealing with our sexual needs and the transitions of life we all have to go through. Personally I consider myself still "good to go", but it's important to consider yourself "as others see you" too.

I agree totally that where there's a will there's a way, but it takes two people to see that ;-)

MsGeil: Yep we all age at different rates but in some ways it is more difficult on sites like this for "young for age" people to meet partners they'd be happy with, because people tend to look immediately at the age and draw their own conclusions. If you meet someone attractive in the real world, and then find out in due course that they're older than you thought, you feel it's not so important. I think that's the main problem here: people aren't prepared to take a chance on the basis of stats and pics alone.

Mini-skirts, heels and pee?? You might have stumbled on a new fetish there :-)

one thing that gives me hope for the future is that there are always going to be young people who prefer older men.

FA: Thanks for that. I suspect that might indeed be the case in your environment, and you have the advantage of being able to lean both ways (which I can't). I suppose it depends on what you mean by "younger" (those asterisks again.....). Indeed most of the people I've met on here *have* been younger, but in general I'd say it's a rule of thumb for me that under 30 is a waste of time.

I *did* meet a woman here in Japan who was 51, but she was exceptional, and as you know, orientals tend to stay better preserved.

The conundrum of ageing is indeed perplexing. At the moment, freedom and being my own man are paramount, and I'd never be prepared to sacrifice them for "regular comfort" with all its commitments. I suppose you could say I'm holding out until a time when my sexual urges are under sufficient control to allow me to back away and become a pure aesthete :-)

Kinky: Much obliged for taking this up again :-) I'm not trawling for compliments, you understand, and I know I'm still better preserved than most blokes my age, but the bottom line is what other people think. I salute you for being so open-minded about age, and I'm sure you'll be a fantastic cougar when the time comes :-) My only regret is that by that time I'll probably be gaga and drooling (lol).

Interesting that you should choose to dig this one out again, Chrissy, as once again I've been contemplating leaving here, and also the other site I'm on. The zeitgeist that has seen the emergence of the likes of Trump, Putin and other "strong guys" has also been mirrored in what women are looking for on "sex sites" -- and it certainly isn't the likes of me 🙂  In the UK at least, claiming to be a "dom" (whatever that is) seems as essential for blokes here as it is for BBC newsreaders to wear poppies in November 🙂

I still have plenty of mileage left, and I do have a few very special FWBs in both UK and Japan, so I'm doing better than most. In fact since this blog got started more than three years ago, I have met several women in their late 20s, so it just goes to show that - at least for some women - what they see and get out of a guy goes way beyond his age. However, I still have to face the fact (as we all have to do ultimately) that there *will* come a time when I have to bow out gracefully.

I have an ancient male crony in UK and he's always suggested we should buy an old cottage in the Lake District and form a sort of hippie colony for like-minded seniors when the time comes. There's a lot to be said for that idea. However, I just can't see myself retiring to UK because I've grown to love such a lot about Japan. It's a treat just sitting in a cafe in Tokyo and watching all the elegant women walk past. Once I hit my 70s there'd be many worse ways of spending the time. Or maybe I should learn to be a "bakushi" (rope master): they seem to get lots of willing young volunteers 🙂  There's a British bloke under the pen-name "Sin" who's done just that.

I must say that moving to a warmer climate has its appeal, and that my savings would go a lot further in, say, Thailand than in Japan. But to my way of thinking at least, there's always been something seedy about Gary Glitter types in that kind of environment, and any attention they might get is based on economic need rather than for who they are. So no - that doesn't really appeal. Hawaii would be great, and I did love what I saw when I was there three years ago, but again it's rather pricy and I shan't be retiring on a UK GPs pension 🙂

I think what will eventually happen is that - although my need for sexual expression will continue - it will eventually fade to such a level that would not justify structuring my lifestyle to cater for it. Other things will gain greater priority: my love for the seasons, being able to live close to Nature but having the convenience and civilization of Tokyo nearby, the food, the amazing culture, the festivals, and the endless fascination of discovering new layers of the onion here. I guess I'm in too deep to change.