My first sub and I recently had our second date and we signed an agreement. We decided to call it a "declaration of intent" since we think that's a more accurate description what these agreements are. It is different in other ways from similar agreements and I'm hoping to get some feedback from people who are more experienced than me or my sub with the BDSM lifestyle.
DOM / SUB DECLARATION OF INTENT
Dom and Sub do hereby declare their intention to enter a sexual relationship for their mutual pleasure to be implemented in three phases. Phases one and two will each comprise at least one session of sexual activity and may be extended indefinitely but both parties declare their intention to move on to the next phase after no more than five sessions.They will meet in his home, her home or in a hotel as is convenient and as time and schedules permit and Sub will without hesitation obey orders to carry out sexual activities as Dom shall deem appropriate. To wit:
Dress/undress to Dom's specifications.
Assume postures Dom specifies such as sitting, standing, kneeling, lying face up or face down,etc.
Submit to gentle and rough massage as pleases Dom to give her. This may include spanking, slapping and mild choking.
Submit to Dom's manual, oral or genital stimulation of any part of Sub's body and to give such stimulation to Dom as directed by him.
During sessions in all phases Dom will address Sub by such terms as Bitch, Slut and W**re. Sub will address Dom by such terms as Sir, Boss, Master and Daddy.
Between sessions both Dom and Sub will address each other by first name or by such endearments as please both.The inequality that will characterize their sexual relationship must not spill over into their relationship outside of sex.
SAFEWORD
Sub will use the safeword “Pineapple” to convey that she has reached her limit for physical stress.
PERMITTED TOYS
blindfolds
handcuffs
dildos
vibrators
paddles
In phase two bed restraints and ball gags will be added to the list of permitted toys.
In phase three leash and collar will be added to the list of permitted toys.
PRIVACY
During phase one of their relationship no other person shall be in the room with them to watch or participate in their activities. Sub is aware that Dom has two housemates who may be in the house during their sessions but said housemates will not be in the same room with them during phase one sessions.
During phase two at most two persons of either sex may join them to watch, to be watched, or to participate in such activity as Dom shall deem appropriate.
During phase three Dom and Sub will routinely go to swing clubs to watch, to be watched, and to participate in activities with however many individuals Dom shall deem appropriate.
Dom: ______________________ Date:_____________________
Sub:_______________________ Date:______________________
I am much too laid back to do a 24/7 hard dom routine. If I try I will fail horribly so I thought I would write that into our agreement -- that I am not a 24/7 dom. She is very skeptical of the whole group activity thing and that is why we say that phases one and two "may be extended indefinitely." But I am doing my best to give her the BDSM that she wants so hopefully she will eventually warm up to group activity because that is what I want.Let me know in the comments: Have you seen an agreement like this before? Does it fall short of what you expect of BDSM agreements or are the differences between it and other such agreements a welcome change?
4:17 am Saturday, 9th October, 2021
Your one paragraph, you said the inequality of your sexual life would not spoil over into your everyday life. For me, I'd always want to feel my Dom's Power, and to know he always has the last word. |
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5:59 pm Thursday, 28th October, 2021
A lovely and well written agreement. I would have liked to see references to sub always with a lower case letter befitting of her status. And if gags are to be introduced, a relable way of of safewording needs to be established. I hope you both have a lot of enjoyment. xxx |
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5:05 pm Friday, 19th November, 2021
I do like this agreement that you have. It would be nice to also have a clause about punishment. |
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1:10 pm Thursday, 13th January, 2022
I’m a dom |
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4:30 pm Tuesday, 18th January, 2022
Inequality? Different roles, definitely, but equal exchange of gifts, equal respect. Looks way too complicated for this sub. |
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7:51 pm Thursday, 20th January, 2022
Hi how is it going |
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5:04 am Wednesday, 26th January, 2022
Love the openest of the agreement. I wish you well and satifaction. I hope to have such agreement with a Dom. |
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1:25 pm Friday, 28th January, 2022
😍🤗👄🤰💏💕💕💞😘😘😘 |
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3:51 am Tuesday, 1st February, 2022
I'm interested |
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11:46 pm Thursday, 3rd February, 2022
I had an agreement like that and mine said i would please one friend of his in frony of my dom but he would pick who n wheb |
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8:57 am Saturday, 5th February, 2022
Wonderful. |
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1:03 pm Sunday, 6th February, 2022
This is a reasonable agreement. I agree with the comment about inequality. Strike that and replace with another word or phrase of your choosing. The sub has as much power as the Dom as her submission is freely given. |
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2:32 pm Thursday, 17th February, 2022
DAMN...that's hott |
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3:30 pm Thursday, 17th February, 2022
I like all but the extra people. But with the right Dom I might change my mind. But very good contract. Enjoy |
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9:20 pm Saturday, 19th February, 2022
This is actually a great idea. |
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12:22 pm Friday, 25th February, 2022
Very well thought out. Thank you for sharing. |
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7:44 am Thursday, 10th March, 2022
Not specifically sex ...and is ok or maybe not ? |
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3:06 am Sunday, 13th March, 2022
Excellent and unambiguous. Great job and thanks for sharing. |
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8:47 am Wednesday, 30th March, 2022
Hi it nice |
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7:10 am Monday, 4th April, 2022
HI there handsome ...how are you doing today ? |
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11:27 am Wednesday, 13th April, 2022
Hello 😈 |
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10:55 pm Friday, 15th April, 2022
I'm a sub this sounds like something i want to try. |
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5:18 pm Thursday, 21st April, 2022
In search of a dominant |
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2:32 pm Monday, 25th April, 2022
Love this. I was actually thinking of NDA but this is even better (would include NDA portion of course 😉) |
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5:51 pm Monday, 25th April, 2022
Nice to know this coming from a Dom's perspective. I have been in a Dom-Sub arrangement before that eventually evolved into an open relationship. Too bad Covid hit and he have to leave the country. But we still talk pretty much everyday. I think the key to the success of such arrangement is to have mutual respect and you are both on for same goal, that is to achieve mutual satisfaction. |
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5:51 pm Monday, 25th April, 2022
Nice to know this coming from a Dom's perspective. I have been in a Dom-Sub arrangement before that eventually evolved into an open relationship. Too bad Covid hit and he have to leave the country. But we still talk pretty much everyday. I think the key to the success of such arrangement is to have mutual respect and you are both on for same goal, that is to achieve mutual satisfaction. |
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3:12 am Saturday, 7th May, 2022
If the sub has group as her hard limit then that's it. Hard limits are hard limits for a reason. |
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5:58 pm Saturday, 7th May, 2022
I like it |
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7:01 pm Friday, 13th May, 2022
Yes good |
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1:13 pm Saturday, 14th May, 2022
lets go and meet |
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3:45 am Saturday, 21st May, 2022
I would just obey my master. |
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10:33 pm Thursday, 2nd June, 2022
I would love to try this, seems to be fun |
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3:02 pm Sunday, 12th June, 2022
Would suit me nicely |
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12:05 pm Thursday, 16th June, 2022
Great idea finding sexual compatibility is hard enough with vanilla sex, this is great because it sets a few boundaries as well which as a sub I find very importsnt |
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3:14 am Friday, 1st July, 2022
I had a contract years ago. It included a lot more detail than this in some ways but also less general info. My husband and I had ours for fun more than actual definitionof our relationship. In reality I was His, in every way and nothing would ever change that. Also o Ours was a Ms relationship so once I agreed to the relationship and he agreed to my hard limits |
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3:16 am Friday, 1st July, 2022
I'm curious about how much input your sub had in drawing this up |
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6:57 am Saturday, 9th July, 2022
I would love to be a naughty kinky sub no limits will obey |
Retired single straight male interested in short term and long term encounters with females couples and groups. Vaccinated.