When women are portrayed as submissive in popular media, the reaction broadly seems to be either “that’s hot” or “that’s offensive.” When men are portrayed as submissive, the reaction is more likely to be one of pity or derision.
S/M theatrically flouts the edict that manhood is synonymous with mastery, and submission a female fate.” Indeed, the media fascination that results every time a powerful man is caught associating with a dominatrix implies an ongoing curiosity about BDSM’s power to invert gender stereotypes. The tendency to see a man being dominated by a woman as a jokeworthy subject implies at best a discomfort with a man being submissive, and at worst, such a strong refusal to believe women can truly have any power over men that any scenario depicting this must be comical or unrealistic. The discomfort with men being submissive is often reflected by a prurient media that loves to know the filthy details of any kinkster’s activity just so it can disapprove of them. The ongoing association of submissive behaviors with femininity, and femininity itself being seen as a demeaning state, is troubling for us all. It can’t just be that masochism is considered unmanly—after all, inviting and enduring huge amounts of pain in the boxing ring, the football field, or in war are viewed as extremely masculine. Catch me in my next series.
