Really know the difference between a limit and comfort

As a mature gay male. I have had a lot of sex through the decades, either with long term partners, casual hook ups, or encounters through drunken nights out, to most recently having a collection of regular event buddies that I plan in and rotate about depending on schedules, all with different playtime needs.


I have personally learned and continue to learn what I like and might not prefer, if I don’t like something it doesn’t mean I won’t do it. If I am playing with one of my subs or bottoms for example, I will have discussed real differences between an actual limit and what they may find uncomfortable.


Yesterday as I closed the door and watched a sub buddy limping away towards his car, with a cheeky smile on his face. I reflect on his journey on my mattress or wherever I have instructed him to position himself. Originally he had an interest in being more submissive, admitting he was not sure what he was willing to do, so what I would label as a bloody annoying knob head.


Personally I have never found it difficult to speak plainly and with clarity what I like or don’t prefer in relation to sex or an agreed non sexual playtime or as a relationship lifestyle. I understand that some people can struggle to discuss anything relating to being aroused, what they find hot or even discussing a fantasy out loud. I have learned things don’t happen unless you speak up and then act upon them. I am very broadminded and do believe experiences only feel kinky the first time.


Remembering our first meet, he was nervous and occasionally even now he can still be nervous especially when introducing something new. The original discussion we had was frustrating as it was a lot of no, no, nope, nah, erm maybe, nah, not sure responses. Like I said an annoying knob head. I threw my hands up in the air in despair and said if you want to stay and play, then just do everything I ask of you, don’t fidget and open your mind and body to new experiences, even if they may feel uncomfortable at times, or I told him he could leave as I was already getting bored. I probably scared him into staying, but to be fair he demonstrated some genuine curiosity which I was willing to explore and invest my time, as a new sub project.


I found out quickly he had little experience in relation to sex with men, let alone with someone that likes to control, dominate, unravel, break, scold, smack, slap, cane, trample on, pinch, brutalise, humiliate, just as a few examples (not all at once)! I realised It was going to be a long journey and to be fair it's been a worthwhile one, just freeing himself to become uncomfortable with a certain situation or action has led him away from thoughts of something being wrong or taboo, or in some instances it has cemented an actual limit which I respect.


Any sub reading this will hopefully know about sub space and associated endorphin rush, particularly in relation to pain, which can be utterly overwhelming for anyone experiencing it. His first trip to lah lah land was too much for him, he was so confused and frightened. The place he is in right now is remarkable, yesterday he had crash after crash of endorphin cycles it was crazy to watch him totally lose the plot, so many time outs where initiated by me and cold cloths applied on his neck as he struggled to get a grip on reality. When I finally called an end to the scene, he was mopping himself off the floor and was in bits, totally blissed out, unable to communicate and he took quite some time to come round to a point I felt he would be safe to drive. He now understands the difference between a genuine limit and comfort.


Why was he limping you might ask, well that was not part of the scene as the scene was totally about Funishment. However I outline certain rules in my house, break the rules and there are consequences.


I have previously warned the use of a mobile device whilst in my company, on my time. He isn’t allowed access to his phone until he is back in his car, but he was waltzing down the stairs scrolling through his phone whilst I was trying to speak to him, he made the mistake of asking me to repeat myself.


I told him in a very calm controlled voice how disappointed I was with his lack of obedience, explained that I expected better behaviour from him. As this was becoming a pattern now and I had at least on two occasions cautioned him, he now had to pay the consequences, hence the limping.


As he was standing in front of my doorway to outside, he was told to pull down his trousers. I whispered in his ears this is going to hurt. I kneed him harshly in the balls, told him to kneel and droop his cock on the door step and I stepped on his already aching cock asking him to count slowly to thirty. Punishment delivered, a reminder not to be disrespectful and something for him to think about. Even though he was disobedient, the day was successful as he continues to explore and his tolerances to certain play scenes is noteworthy.


Later that night he messaged me to say he was going to masturbate himself into a frenzy thinking about our time together. However I messaged him back to tell him to put on his chastity cage and have a cup of cocoa and go to bed hard. lol.


Boys and girls or whatever your recognised orientation.


A question: when you meet a regular play partner or a casual hook up, male or female. Is it primarily to initiate a sexual activity or is that not always the goal? I am curious as I don’t always have sex, particularly if the scene is more geared to pain such as spanking, cane, impact play or serving through humiliation. I would be interested to have your views.


Thanks for reading.


Mr. Tegz x

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