Dear Kate. This is to be my personal diary with unknown voyeurs. But the diary I might have had as a young girl - things missed out on. The venue that we used to spill out out most intimate thoughts in which we craved answers - answers that would eventually come. Am I pretty? Does he like me? I think I like her? Is that bad? Then the years pass and we forget about those valuable moments where we must confront our thoughts. How special and innocent it was seeing my words and my passions in front of my eyes. Is it less real when my mind drifts to fantasy - simply the same teenage questions in their adult body. Opportunities and honesties past but perhaps not passed. So this can be that diary. To no one in particular except me. And therefore no one to impress, repress or undress. When there are fantasies I will be sure to emphasize such - just as the realities will rear their head. No editing or re-reading, except for those disturbing type-o distractions where “have comes out hate”. I will limit acronyms as I may forget what they meant even days from now. I am Kate. Kate I wish to be. Physically, yes! Mentally, yes. Emotionally, yes. I yearn to be a woman in this chaotic world where wearing soft pretty pastels can soften any crude and ill-tempered ignorance. Kate loves feeling and looking pretty. I see so many girls/women who think this an inferior and debasing perception. You can still have opinions and strength while wearing a cute thong. Is femininity becoming a thing of the past? Not with the girls like me. Oh thank God for that! It occurs to me that I will NEVER intend to offend and welcome RESPECTFUL opposition if anyone reads this and wishes to share. Growth comes from such dynamism. My evolution will come through this. I also know I will jump about, not frenetically, but probably contemporary and past ideas. It’s my diary! Hah! My first entry. This is a quick observation. My day job allows me to add femininity to action. I care for people and have always listened with compassion. I try and be intuitive. I’m kind and caring. These are feminine qualities. I’m not crude nor does profanity spill from my lips. My work clothes are often unisex (hospital scrubs - I still find these so sexy. Always wondered what the girls wore beneath. They should only know what I wear! What would I do if someone said, oh, your panties are so pretty!). Once home, as I always have, I remove my work clothes, shower ( these have come to be more luxurious ) and throw on panties and, almost always, a matching bra. Usually tights or leggings, loose T, jewelry (simple necklace), small wedge sandals and of course perfume. These are all a quick means to get my evening started. My “new uniform “. Something I might wear to the market or book club or a casual coffee. But it is always something cute! Cute is key!! If only I ever really did run around outside like that. But still, I don’t keep my shades down, so to speak. I know I am dressed that i would always feel presentable. I yearn to hear, “oh Kate, you always look so nice”. You can usually tell when I’m in a bad mood - bra and panty mismatch. Should you be privy! But…still cute. Some people drink a lot, I wear ill matching lingerie. Go figure. Night time, as I prepare for bed? That’s a little different. My mood will determine what I wear to bed. Since it’s now morning, I will save those thoughts until I return to Dear Diary, Dear Kate.
