Where Does The Passion Go

Thats been one issue that gets me, they say they cant meet, then theres a review from the same day;(

Peter you seem to be very disappointed and disillusioned. Has nothing good come from your attempts? Nothing?

I have indeed found several, what I would regard as, trusted friends on here ;)

That is why I its called role play, I thinkx

Its not easy and there is not a right or wrong way to go about things. Just treat every oppertunity on its merit, we are all different, the signs will be there, coffeee first or straight to bed - be confident and show it, you will come through be patient, but persistent and dont give up!

Wow thank you for enlightening me upon this matter, considering what weird things normally happen here, I would say yes perhaps I am weird for being so normal

Fallingangel your critique of someone you don't know is a little harsh. However you do touch on a valid point. Many members who bemoan a lack of "success" don't adquately assess their own behaviour and the contribution this makes to their "failure". I withdrew from the chat room well over a year ago as I found the majority of people undesirable due to their behaviour. A large proportion of the men have the social skills of alley cats and seem completely obvlious to this being the primary reason for a lack of meets. Their frustration only serves to make their behaviour worse, which of course reduces their chances of meeting anyone even further. And so the vicious circle goes on.

But back to this blog. A man showers a lady with protestations of being in love, that the lady is very special to him, implies he is all and only for her. So ardent was he, she believed him. His words create expectations: love, care, consideration, loyalty, fidelity. Suddenly after months of profuse interaction he withdraws because he's too busy "working". He does not do this in a sensitive way. It sends mixed messages leaving the lady hurt and confused. This is potentially damaging to the relationship that has developed, and maybe any passion. He compounds this by broadcasting he is disatisfied with his level of "success" on the site, denies the existence of his object of desire by omission, and that he is actively seeking sexual encounters elsewhere. His behaviour is bordering on looking a gift horse in the mouth. Would it be any wonder if her passion succumbed to a sad death?

This is a not a made up scenario. I suffered a similar fate when I first joined the site several years ago. The man in question, let's call him Kevin for that was his name, was persistent. As much as Kevin insisted he was in love, I insisted that he could not be. Eventually I believed him, which was the first of my mistakes. That is another story. Suffice it to say it did not end well.

Our words and actions inevitably have consequences. Sometimes they are negligible, whilst other times they can be significant; such as killing off passion. I doubt that "he" in the above scenario is alone in being oblivious to the expectations he creates with his words. Nor being shocked or angered when he is expected to live up to those expectations. To come back to Fallingangel's point, one needs to be aware of the signals, messages and vibes being sent out to others on the site.

Responding to Fallingangel: Some people live in a small community, where picking up a stranger at the pub would a-not be a stranger and b-be known by everyone within 50 miles by midnight.

That being said, there's also the fact that some people want the thrill of a one night stand without the danger of going off into the night with someone totally random. As a woman who could "get a stranger by standing at the bar for 10 minutes" I have to say that I, for one, def prefer the complicated on-line routine now.

I have found that meeting too soon is often a total waste of my time. We often have nothing in common and are looking for totally different things. I much prefer getting to know someone online first, taking the chance that he'll disappear, and meeting when and if we both know we're up for it. The thrill of meeting is no less (and often even more).

We all have our own fantasies, who's to judge that the way it's acted out is different than someone else's?

And finally, in response to Pete's original blog: of course you'll find the right one, it's just a matter of time and how long you're willing to wait! Maybe you're already chatting to her and just don't realize it yet? ;)