"I want to watch you fuck other men" - My Train of thought - By Steffy

This is not a typical article about the definitions and technicalities of cuckolding, I’m sure you’ve come across a lot of those!

This is a blog sharing the emotions, dilemmas, and the few tips we discovered from our experience when my husband-to-be asked me the question.

How he exactly did it and the events that led to it will be in a blog later if you guys are interested!

The dilemmas I had

•Is he bi?
While we were scrolling through cuckold/Hotwife Tumblr, his big fingers rubbing my engorged clit and teasing tongue gently rolling my nipple, we came across a clip of a cuck licking creamy strands of cum out of his wife’s pussy. He looked at me and said he’d love to do that. I asked him if he was okay doing it and he said ‘anything for you’.
It turned me on watching this but I couldn’t help wonder why he was enthusiastic about this. Was he bi? Is this his way of coming out?! Was he weak?

These few questions are ones that really shake you. You might feel like your whole world was turned upside down. Been there, ladies.
I’ll address which is by far the most weighing question here, first.

So, is he bi?

No. He’s not. The fine line is the source of pleasure for the cuck. He’s not turned on by cocks, he’s turned on by what that cock does to his wife ;)
Even cleaning off a cock his wife just fucked, it’s not him being bi.
Simply being a guy and putting a cock in your mouth isn’t gay. An act doesn’t define homosexuality! There has to be a psychological attraction!
When cleaning off a cock, he’s turned on by the idea of her making him clean off a cock she just enjoyed for her to be pounded further with ;)
The element of submission towards their wife is a turn-on for cucks.
In short, his wife. SHE is where the attraction stems from. If not for the hotwife, he wouldn’t be doing any of those things.

As for him being weaker? Never.
A common misconception is that cucks are weak. I don’t believe that’s true. I believe they are strong both physically and mentally.

Seeing your wife be fucked by someone else? Someone with a bigger cock? See her squirt all over someone else’s cock, moaning, and be able to be turned on by that instead of being blinded by rage? To suck a cock when she asks you to?
It won’t work for someone with a fragile masculinity or someone very egoistic. Of course, the relationship has to be very strong too.

As for physically... Well, when you see how they reclaim you and fuck you so hard they wipe off any trace of a bull, your answer is there ;)

•Is he okay with seeing me with another man because he doesn’t love me that much?
I was hurt and confused as to why he wasn’t jealous of the idea of me with other men because that’s how it was supposed to be? Right?
Well, actually no. That’s what society tells us and that’s what’s perceived as a societal norm. To help understand this, I’ll first discuss this:

How cucks see their hotwives

This might come as an absolute shock to you (it did to me) but some men love you so much that their turn-on is to see you happy! Sounds fake right? Sounds like some elaborate lie a guy tells a girl to fool her? I thought so too.

They are being honest though. As cynical as I was, it didn’t take much for me to realize this because, in everything my guy has ever done, in both sexual and non-sexual context, he has always wanted to see me happy.

He’s not a guy who just says it, he shows it in everything he does. If anything he shows more than he says!

In a sexual context, oh my, he loves putting me first. I’m always left drained, my nipples quivering from him biting and sucking them, my pussy leaking its own juices, my thighs sticky from me squirting and spasming from my very many orgasms. What’s he doing? He’s holding me and gently kissing and stroking my hair. Note, that while he’s doing this he’s rock hard with streams of precum dribbling down his shaft; that’s right, he hasn’t cum yet.
So yeah, it’s me first and then him. I did wonder because it was nothing I had heard of, you usually hear the opposite! Now it makes sense ;)

Back to jealousy:
There is an aspect of jealousy as well but it contributes to the eroticism of it all. The feeling of being deprived/ another man in your wife’s pussy does evoke it but not with a negative connotation because this is something the both of you had discussed, agreed on, and looked forward to ie it’s the lifestyle.

•Less safe
I felt that if I ever told him about sexual harassment that happened to me, he’d be turned on rather than be concerned. I mean, that’s his fantasy right?! Seeing another male do something sexual to me?

Nope.

If you aren’t enjoying yourself, he won’t be happy, let alone turned on. It all boils down to you.

YOU, the hotwife.

Trust me, when we both look for bulls, he’s the pickier one. He wants me to have nothing short of the best (pun unintended) and he gets me the men who will ensure I’ll have the best time. I’ve seen him interact with potential bulls and it makes me fall in love with him over and over again.
He treats me like a queen and his priority is not to see me fucked, he wants to ensure I’ll be fucked right and by someone, he perceives as deserving of me.

Your moans, your expressions of ecstasy, your nails burying into his arms while he holds you, watching your body rippling with each thrust of the bull plummeting in you, your tits heaving with rivulets of sweat, the concoction of saliva and cum from the messy BJ earlier smeared across your face, the lust and love in your eyes as you look at him while enjoying a thick cock sliding in and out of you; that’s what turns him on.

•Does this mean I have to be okay if he wants to be with other women?
Am I obliged to be okay?

No. Period.

This is extremely important for both cuckolds and hotwives to understand.
The lifestyle is based on the two of you wanting to introduce a bull into your lives and for you BOTH to have fun.
Cucks shouldn’t use it against you saying that you have your fun and fuck men so it’s only fair that he gets pussy.
No, that is no longer a cuck- hotwife lifestyle.
That is manipulation and using the lifestyle as an excuse.

Hotwives shouldn't be treated as if they are the ones having all because the whole point of this lifestyle, I’ll stress again, is that the TWO of you are having fun

If one of you at some point would like to swing/ add a girl, it is a separate conversation and not one you can use the cuck lifestyle to piggyback on.

•Is this cheating?
I remember feeling really dirty and ugly when I first sexted a bull and this was with my guy watching the convo. I hated how I felt doing that.
I’m someone who has never cheated in any form and has always been against cheating so I felt like a hypocrite.
After a discussion, we realized that this didn’t tick any of the boxes in the criteria of cheating. Yes, I was sleeping with/ sexting with another man but was I hiding it? No.
Was he being hurt by it? No, Unless his hard cock pressing against his cage hurts while he sees me do these things ;)


Tips
These are things we purely gathered from our own experience.

•Ask the hard questions (pun unintended)
Ladies, if you have any questions and I mean ANNNNY questions about their sexual orientation or anything else you feel is too awkward/ inappropriate, just ask it.

Trust me it’ll weigh down on you and fester with time if you internalize it. You have to ask all the questions. That being said, you have to be respectful too. DON’T smirk, speak condescendingly, or call him derogatory terms (unless he likes it *wink wink*). It took a lot for them to come to you with this. Appreciate him being open with you. Just because he doesn’t mention a fantasy doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it, right?

Also, keep an open mind and don’t shut him down instantly. It takes a lot for him to ask you 🙂 Initially, I was really uncomfortable with the idea. However, I appreciated his openness and I’ve always believed as a couple we should try to see if we can enjoy each other's interests, so I looked at this like that as well.

Guys, be patient and don’t lose your temper if your wife asks very trying questions or if she asks the same thing a couple of times. It’s a lot to get used to and digest. Honestly, if she’s talking about it, that’s a good sign. So, encourage questions and answer pleasantly and lovingly. Also, keep reminding her nothing has changed about your relationship and this is merely a suggestion.

•Cosy up and read
Both of y’all read. A lot. I suggest doing it together either over the phone or even better, in person. This way so u can ask each other questions or point out things you aren’t comfortable with.
Read about other couple’s experiences and what helped us a lot was the scientific explanations, namely the psychology behind cuckolding. It helps you understand and really appreciate the depths of the lifestyle.
I went from being appalled to finding the lifestyle beautifully sexy. Remember, staged porn doesn't give you a realistic portrayal!

•Your significant other is your priority
This is one of the most pressing fears I had; that this was the end of my relationship as I knew it and from now on the dynamics were going to be different and he was going to be some guy I didn’t recognize.

Yes. it was not a fun train of thought.

He assured me over and over that nothing had changed and he loves me the same and whether I wanted to drop this or not, nothing would change. We could easily go back to ‘how we used to be’. That was the most comforting thing. It helped me to explore the lifestyle without a hand pushing me and nudging me forward. I took it at my own pace and let my own interests guide me because he convinced me that this wasn’t a one-way door.

So, assure each other that your relationship hasn’t changed and that none of y’all are trapped in it and that cuckolding can be dropped at any time. Put each other and the love you have for each other over your fantasies. Remember, it’s not the lifestyle if one of you is upset.

•Patience, patience, and more patience!

Ladies, there may be times where he trips up and comes across as pushy because well sometimes all the blood rushes to his dick. Jokes, we all trip up as human beings and especially since we can’t reach each other minds, it’s hard to know sometimes when you might be crossing a line. So if he does do something you feel is rushing you, make sure to tell him because you are entitled to taking this at your own pace. More often than not, he’s unaware that he’s coming across as being pushy.

Guys, sometimes it might seem like your wife is taking two steps back with each step forward but keep being patient because it’ll keep her at ease and help her solidify each step she takes.

•Understanding is key
Guys, understand that us women are going through more. While you were taking the time wondering how to approach us with the question, you also gave yourself the time to understand it and handle the emotions. This is new to us so it’ll be a journey. The person from whom the question is asked has a lot more to get adjusted to.

Ladies, understand that although he may seem like he’s absolutely fine with this and it’s only you who has the problem, it’s not the case. I thought the same and asked my guy, saying it sucked that it seemed like only I was having issues with the lifestyle. He said he had his uncertainties as well such as if he would enjoy this as much as he thought and about will it feel in the moment etc. He just didn’t bring them up because if we both were voicing our doubts it’s unlikely we’ll ever go through with this.

Concluding lines
This lifestyle is, I would say, the pinnacle of a relationship. You find yourself communicating so much better and the love is... it keeps growing.

I’ll leave you on this note;

Tentative hotwife; What’s not to love? You get all the cocks u want of all sizes (I prefer 8 inches +) ;) and you have an adoring faithful husband who loves you more when you kiss him with another man’s cum on your lips 🙂 win-win?

Closeted cucks; if your wife being conservative is stopping you, don’t let it. I was the epitome of conservation and now? I’m a happy hotwife who wants a bukkake ;)

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