New submissive needs advice - bucket loads it seems!

If it doesn't feel right, then it's not right. If you get hold of them try and talk it out. If not, then perhaps someone else would be better suited for you. 

Sorry you had that experience - maybe see it as a learning curve in relation to what you do and don't likewant...

Thank you all replies and advice is so much appreciated...I didn't hear back from this person, maybe he thought I would be too much work or maybe hes just an arsehole lol  
All I know is when I decided to jump in so to speak I pushed myself and my comfort zone for someone that wasnt worth my time...I've realised now that just because I'm a novice it doesn't mean I have to take anything in the pretense its training and I shouldn't be grateful someone will take me on lol I get to choose.
Anyways I did think about hiding away again but I wont this is what I need and want so I wont be put off x

Thank you all replies and advice is so much appreciated...I didn't hear back from this person, maybe he thought I would be too much work or maybe hes just an arsehole lol  
All I know is when I decided to jump in so to speak I pushed myself and my comfort zone for someone that wasnt worth my time...I've realised now that just because I'm a novice it doesn't mean I have to take anything in the pretense its training and I shouldn't be grateful someone will take me on lol I get to choose.
Anyways I did think about hiding away again but I wont this is what I need and want so I wont be put off x

If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. Xx

I would be honoured to help you with your bdsm training more than a friendly ear  to chat to 

Hello , I have found that type of thing to be too contrived , you say you are responsible self confident in day to day life , but like the feeling on occasions of someone taking over , my interest is in bringing you discipline and spanking , be it relating to personal behaviour or in role play situations , a dressing down telling off , bringing the degree of embarrassment , bend over , bare bottom and humiliation corner time , warm red glowing bare bottom on show , face the wall skirt raised panties slipped down , stroking soothing  , fingers wandering and satisfying, ladies with a need and are accepting.

 find one that  is intuitive with you in bed ... is enought...play outside do all tings enjoy smooth and hard stuff just play 

😡

Hi babe ill leave you be in control long a can give you very good pumping love it my cock now throbbing 

Well it seems you have been duped, this person used you to get his satisfaction then moved on. A good Dom would take time and ease you into what you are comfortable with and build up to wherever your boundaries are if any.

Im available babes 

Hey baby I’m up for fun x 

One step at a time, font want to be humiliated, just say. Don't mean yiyr journey ends.  Hit me up. 

Well I’ve always put my x partners pleasure first and love doing whatever some blokes r just selfish 

We need a solution here babi...:-) 

Do what ever you feel comfortable with, if you are not enjoying yourself then don't feel you have to carry on, never feel pressured into anything and don't be afraid to say no. Sorry not great at advice. X

Shame your first real experience was not pleasant for you, I would have thought you need to enjoy the experience too. 
Sounds like you picked the wrong Dom, hopefully you will find one that ticks the boxes next time. 

No it's not right an actual dom should discuiyoure comfort zones first trust is everything and all honesty you  shouldn't of had to of done any of that.
That's after months if not years of training and trust building 

And so you should learn from that. 

Happy to discuss 

Happy to help

I’m here for you,girl 
And the so sad I clicked the button strictly by accident, I do apologize for that, girl 

Not good, the idea is to train you, not to scare you off,  Did you meet and talk through with him what was expected, trust and openness is essential, sounds like all he wanted to do is humiliate and use you for his fun, whereas, yes I do enjoy doing what I do, but of more importance to me, is that you ultimately enjoy and enjoy serious pleasure, yes you will be punished for disobedience, but talk about what will happen, if you are concerned raise it, you need to be led into it, trained and guided, not bullied.

Hello gorgeous

It is simple! A true psychologically able Dominant should seek to earn and not demand loyalty! Loyalty is the key within the SubDom relationship. Any supposed Dom who thinks demanding respect and loyalty is the path they are a tumbler dom who is really only experienced in abusing partners. Avoid them like the plague. Its a complex synergy of a relationship and not one of you do loads of shit task and they chatise you because 'They can' no they can't nor should they want to as a loyal sub should be respected for the GIFT they give you and that; once again; is their loyalty, x

Heyy

I'm happy to fuck you x

It's like starting a new job u have be shown the ropes and the equipment that is going to used like clamps paddles whips and gages pegs candle wax u have to build it up slowly. Trev 

Sorry you went through that, the truth is you and the person you are with come to a understanding,  after all sex is about both people,  unfortunately the subdom thing is full of big headed dicks who just want to control you,  which isn't what subdom is about. 

I think that your blog is spot on
People want quick gratification 

Whatever the relationship it’s about taking and building trust not just saying “I’m the master and you have to trust me”

Time is what’s needed 

I'd love to dom you

Take ur time

I would happily chat and help you with guidance 

I msg you but You can't see relies if u not a paid member

You sound fun can I ask do you like the older man .

You should only do what you are comfortable with, it is all about building a mutually consenting relationship

Would love to meet if you would like

This is word for word from another posting . And I've noticed is word for word on the replays ??? Just makes you think ????

Well if this is posted anywhere else then someone has copied from me, this was my own words when I first joined here 😅

You are worth more and deserve better
Let’s chat and see where it goes
Richard

This is a Dom who doesn't understand the care side of being a Dom, there has to be both, reward and punishment. Get in touch we can cat about expectations.

Hi Mistress

since you knew nothing at the beginning. It's the Dom's responsibility to walk it through. Let yu know exactly what will go on. Was this in person? or video? positions should be taught. various restraints. all without serious play. So when the main event occurs you will know what to expect. less humiliation. 

Sounds like you were mis led. Although you are looking for a Dom, in my opinion you shouldn't have been thrust directly into an unpleasant scenario for yourself. You should have been broken in gently at first, respect plays a big part in any relationship & although you were expecting to be dominated… You could still have been shown respect in order to gain trust. His actions afterwards towards you is a tell tell sign. This is only my opinion, but you shouldn't let one unpleasant meet up stop you from searching for the one… i wish you well  & feel sure you’ll find a master soon x

ties restrained violated lightly. the dom will gauge your reactions. each meeting should be a little more.
Robert

If the experience was not emotionally right for you there is a significant problem. As a dominant you have responsibility for the physical and the emotional. It's about communication and trust. If there is trust you will be able to explore everything you want. Despite the fact that a submissive relinquishes control it is an act of consent as a sub nothing is taken from you, rather it is given as a gift

Hi,
Why did you complete anything for him? He was not your Dom. He is just a stranger at that point. 

Hi,
This is the thing, you may identify as a submissive, but you are not submissive for every person claiming to be a Dom
are you? Do you have an idea of things that you are interested in, things that maybe you are interested in (soft limits), and things that are a no, no way (hard limits)? Do you have local events? 

Do not change who you are to fit into a subsection of humans. Always be yourself because, at the end of the day, that's what is in the mirror. 

If you go through meeting a stranger, any Dom that is worth their salt, would meet on neutral territory (for tea, coffee). Let someone know where you are, and ask them to call you after a specified time. 
Please do not be doing any more task for someone that is not your Dom. 

Can fun with me 

He failed you,,  his first step should be to create a feeling of trust between you , without that a Ds relationship is unable to be built x

Seems to be 💯 fail by them.

The first things to do MUST include limits and expectations - both of you, and of them......plus an agreement of at least one safeword; with a previous sub, it was agreed to have two words...the first was effectively "carry on with the scene, but don't push further" and then a second-and-final one that meant a complete stop..

It was my "challenge" to push to the first, including changing tactact in a different direction, but never get the second...

I'm new to the game but it seems that youse should have put some ground rules straight from the beginning.. the inspection day is kinda normal to me, because I think that's where you establish a relationship, understand each other and each other limits ..... just no the one for you 

I am an experienced sub male and would only add that finding a don is no different to finding a vanilla partner. Some you will click with others you won’t. Do not be afraid to tell doms they are not your cup of tea 😘😀

I will repeat what some have already said , you should start slowly and lightly getting more (extreme is wrong word here ) `into` it with your prospective partner , When I first meet a lady for the first time I have us sit down for a coffee and a chat before anything and set up a `safe` word ( everything stops if she uses it ) 
  Its like any relationship trust and understanding are important .

You need the right master.  I would treat you with patience and respect and look after you emotionally while pushing your boundaries physically.  

An experienced trainer would guide you into the world that you want but if you are uneasy then leave this bully alone , you must remember this is about pleasure at end of day . Good luck 

hi. EVERYTHING should be agreed before hand. an experienced respectful dom would agree with you what your limits areIf you do not know your own limits a set of safe words will help. No one should enter a Ds scenario without all of that fully consented upon. Nervousness is finenbut Do not enter a scene if not fully comfortable with your partner.  You have the right to withdraw your consent at any time.
I hope this helps

Hi baby let’s meet 

Hi I am an experienced dom and would love to chat with you about your experience. No pressure to try anything etc but I would love to try and help you work out your next steps. Always remember that although a true dom likes to be in control it is all about your experience and how to make your dreams come true not his

😈👄😈😍

If you like i will help. I will ride you like a stolen bike make you work hard to please me i don't like this but i have patients and take it at your pace you will feel used and worthless afterwards and i wont cum or get excited no mater what. I will degrade you and reject you. But you will find out what you like and what you dont 

You need to have a good discussion before entering into any arrangement to ensure that you have mutually agreeable desires. Any worthwhile partnership has to be satisfactory to both parties or it will fail. Any man, however dominant, has to listen first.

Bit late to this party , but basically as a sub you're in charge! After all a Dom can't do anything to you that you don't want doing, keep reading, attending munches, clubs and trying many many things until you find your place where you are most happy. Good luck in your journey and don't let a few bad Doms put you off 

Hello I've just read what you've written little sad you need a kind master one who treasures you where you're happy to just slide off your knickers consider me lol g x

Hadn’t realised your original post was dated 2021, duhhhh. So how is your journey now ?