I'm glad I finally have a place I can go to be myself. For years, I've been attracted to women, but I could never admit it to myself. Being alone all through high school and then after, it's not easy. You just want someone to love you. I finally decided I'd stick with whatever man liked me so when I met my ex I stayed. When he became verbally abusive, I stayed. I wanted love. The funny thing was he would never say he loved me. I had my first child and when he became physically abusive I stayed. I stayed until after my second child and the drinking and the abuse was too much and then he brought a woman into our home and tried to have sex with her. I ended it. I realized I'd rather be alone than live that way. But still, I had this desire. An unexplained desire for a woman, a strong woman to hold me and tell me I was beautiful just the way I am and love me and I would love her. Just thinking about making love to her had my body on fire. I would see a woman working as a delivery person. Her short brown hair, her dark eyes, her large frame and my breathe would catch in my throat. My loins would inflame with heat. Now I can say that I want to be with a woman like that. A strong woman who can take me in her arms and hold me close and tell me I am her's. Then we would make love all night and I would know I was safe, I was wanted, I was loved.
