It’s very nearly the start of Pride Month again! Hurrah!
The month of June is Pride Month around the world. I’ve talked about the reasons for June before if you want to go and read some of my previous articles, but for those who’d rather get it quickly here, here’s the rundown: Pride Month is the focus for celebrating and commemorating the progress of LGBTQIA+ rights and to raise awareness of the work still to be done. The first thing many think of is the celebration side, with Pride marches, parties, rainbows everywhere, all the fun stuff – and, yes, it’s amazing! But the remembering and reflecting and focussing on how we can make things better is a huge focus too. The parties actually serve a purpose other than having a good time. They’re a time to come together and to raise visibility, to show the world that we exist – we’re not going away, and also to show those struggling that they’re not alone and to offer strength and support. It’s a time to come together to amplify our voices, especially for the communities that need a lift. There’s strength in numbers, as they say!
The month of June was chosen as it commemorates the Stonewall Riots which took place in 1969 in New York City’s Greenwich Village on June 28th. The police had harassed the LGBTQIA+ community for a long time and this was the night the community decided they were not going to take it anymore. Things were never the same again and this was the explosion that started the modern LGBTQIA+ rights movement.
Of course, in much of the Western world, we’re reasonably lucky to be able to live our lives legally, though not all equal rights have been won in all places. However, for many around the world, the situation is nowhere near as favourable, with some countries around the world carrying the death penalty for homosexuality and many more allowing the legal persecution and torture of LGBTQIA+ people. This has to change. This is why we still have Pride.
Even closer to home, where some countries have our rights enshrined in law, the battle is still not won. Homophobia, a term (and a concept) I despise, is still rife – and a very real danger. I say I hate the term for a simple reason: ‘phobia’ literally means ‘fear’. Fair enough, some may feel uneasy in our company for some reason they really need to look at in themselves, but it’s rarely an actual ‘fear’ of LGBTQIA+ people that causes abuse and dreadful behaviour towards us, the people committing this are usually just awful people. You’re not scared, you’re an asshole. Don’t hide behind ‘fear’, own your issues and be better.
As my home gets ready to hold our first Pride Festival, with a load of backing from our Government (many of the organisers are actually Government officials with a passion for equal rights) and sponsorship from some high profile businesses, I’m amazed at how far we’ve come. I’ve been part of several groups over the years who have tried to make this happen and for one reason or another, things have either failed or resulted in much smaller events. But I’m delighted to finally be part of the team that’s finally making it happen and privileged to be performing on the day. We just have to hope for great weather now. And with only a couple of weeks to go, there’s just so much to do!
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows here, however, as the event was announced officially in our local press a couple of weeks ago and, of course, there were the usual “When’s Straight Pride?” and similar comments. There’s two simple answers to the Straight Pride question: Firstly, how about being thankful you don’t need one? There’s nowhere in the world where you’re stripped of rights or can be put to death simply for being straight, so maybe try Being grateful for that. Secondly, Pride is about inclusion. It celebrates straight people too! Sexuality and Identity are spectrums and you’re part of that too! Particularly if you’re an ally. It’s sad how some still feel the need to complain or belittle, but there’ll always be someone who wants to be a grump.
Another thing I find slightly sad if that the same week as a Pride announcement, a local bar (mentioning absolutely no names or places), formerly a haven of inclusivity for the LGBTQIA+ community, has doubled down on its seemingly homophobic policies. Obviously, I’m not mentioning any names, but I’ve never seen a bit of local news spread so quickly. Sadly, it’s the venue I began my drag career in and, locally, some people still associate me with despite me resigning in protest at a situation four years ago. In that four years, I’ve remained professional and just stated that we ‘parted ways’ or I left ‘to pursue other projects’ or for ‘personal reasons’. The reason being that we held a Pride themed party in 2017 and two girls were told off by staff for a quick peck. The situation blew up on the local LGBTQIA+ groups but fizzled out, as happens quite frequently. Firstly, the bar owner tried to use the law as an excuse, then implied that lesbians were somehow against public decency and tried to claim that ‘no kissing’ in his bar/club was a blanket rule for everyone regardless of sexuality. We know this isn’t true, as we’ve all seen (as a good straight female friend of mine said) she’d “done things in that place that would make a whore blush!” The double standards were breathtaking. I could not continue to offer my services to somewhere with those values, not with a clear conscience.
So, fast forward to last week and the place’s business page posted some deeply problematic posts about LGBTQIA+ people and instead of holding his hands up and admitting he was wrong, doubled down time and again, even going as far as to say he’d ‘set traps’ for LGBTQIA+ people who dare to show affection in his venue and attacking anyone who posted with questions or criticisms. He even tried to claim that people were ‘deliberately staging displays’ in order to ‘disrupt our straight clientele’ – the phrasing of such is very blatantly homophobic. Not professional in any way as well as concerning and inappropriate. It was sad. There were even screenshots of when he had commented to a victim of a homophobic attack that he ‘deserved to be punched’, which shocked many! Understandably, and possibly unexpectedly for the business owner running the page, the thread suddenly took a life of its own and spread exponentially with over 700 comments and 150 shares, along with interest from local and rainbow press!
However, the positive that I took away from it though, is the outpouring of support and the condemnation of his behaviour from members of the wider community. The amount of outrage demonstrates just how far we’ve come. It shows that more and more people are willing to call out this problematic behaviour, which is how it should be. People calling it out in large numbers demonstrates that this is most certainly no longer the norm and that this behaviour cannot be tolerated in modern society. I found myself quite touched by this. Of course, as it spread to the local news outlets, there were the odd couple of homophobic comments, just as there had been when Pride was announced, but I found these drowned out by floods of positivity and also challenged by allies we never knew we had. Times are changing. Sometimes slowly, but we’re moving in the right direction. This is why we still have Pride — to avoid these instances ever becoming ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ again.
Of course, some discrimination may be a generational thing. I have a great aunt and uncle that my father and I meet with for coffee a few times a week and dad and I will quite often express shock about some of the outdated and sometimes racist or homophobic things they come out with after they’ve left. We’ve tried to call them out, but they seem conveniently deaf on those occasions. Monday this week she told me, in her over-opinionated and dismissive way, that I should ‘stay out of gay rights’ and ‘not get involved in the argument’. This was mere seconds after her husband had casually dropped the ‘N’ word into conversation, horrifying dad and I and dad let them know with a stare that this wasn’t acceptable, later explaining to me when I objected that they’re too old to change and that the ‘scene’ it would cause in a public place if we argued would be more embarrassing for us. I, however, was done with this and had an answer ready. I’ve spent too much of my life letting things wash over me and I’m in full social justice mode this week, so I put her straight and she acted today like it never happened. Which is the closest we’ll ever get to her admitting she’s wrong. Don’t get me wrong, she’s family and I love her. And I was always brought up to respect my elders, but sometimes you have to stand your ground for your own sanity and because it’s necessary.
So when she tried to tell me not to get involved with a fight for equality, I didn’t give her a chance to get a word in and told her straight.
“No, I won’t sit down quietly like a good little faggot, because equality is the responsibility of ALL of us, not just a select few. Frankly, as a woman, your position surprises me, as it wasn’t so long ago that women were fighting for their rights and it’s only through the actions of a women long before you that you have the luxury of being mouthy and opinionated and you owe THAT to people who refused to sit down. Your fight was won through people refusing to accept the status quo and my people are fighting that same fight right now. So no, I will not sit down, because sitting down has never. Got. Shit. Done.”
Jaw. Floor. Mic. Drop.
So, prepare yourselves for Pride month. Have all the fun, but don’t forget why it’s necessary and that we WILL get there eventually. Remember you’re never alone and your brothers and sisters are here for you. Remember if you’ve got the strength, to be there for those who might not and remember to call out discrimination where you find it. If we do what we can together, we’re halfway there. And of course, don’t forget to be safe, sane and always…Vidalicious! And remember, you are loved. X
