As a queen, one of the things I get asked by just about every woman I meet is “Will you do my makeup sometime?” Or “When are you doing mine?”
I’m going to level with you – this gets right on my tits. I know there’s a compliment rammed in there about my makeup skills and that they think it’s an ok question, but when it becomes clear that it’s an actual request or when they keep asking over and over again, it can get a little annoying. Yes, I know I don’t do a bad job of my makeup, but that’s not my job. I’m an entertainer, not a makeup artist. Yes, I’m fully aware that might sound blunt, but that doesn’t make it any less true. It’s like going to see your bank manager, noticing she has nice hair and demanding she do yours. Think about it. It’s not that different. You can have great hair without being a hairstylist – I would know, there’s some great hair sitting on polystyrene heads upstairs in my workroom right now. It’s even possible to be able to do your own hair and have it look fabulous without knowing exactly what you did or maybe how to do it on someone else. Bitch, it ain’t my job to make you pretty! I’m on stage doing my job being fabulous. Besides, why would I wanna risk someone stealing the spotlight? It all boils down to one thing: I know my face. I’ve spent a little time with it and I know what goes where.
As I’ve discussed before, nobody wakes up one day just being good at makeup – it takes lots of practice. I’ve been doing drag for over six years now and I’d never claim to be perfect, but when I look at some of the pictures from the beginning, I’m literally stunned at how much better it’s got, how it’s evolved, the tricks I’ve learned and the products I’ve discovered. Practice is, and will always be, the most important tool in your arsenal. Well, after confidence – real or fake.
So, on the subject of practice, I may know my face, but I don’t know your face. Even one of my best friends, who I may look at all the time, I don’t know where everything goes! I know the theory of what goes where, but the practice can be totally different. Next, I know my products and what suits my skin and what to use with what – and my foundation is MY colour, not yours. Why would you think I’d just have that?
The truth is, I’ve always had an incredible amount of respect for makeup artists. That ability to just adapt on the fly, often several times a day, to a different face and instinctively know what’s best for each face is just incredible. Like I say, there’s the basic theories of what goes where, the use of light and dark to shape and contour this three dimensional canvas, but there’s also more complex stuff than even that. An eye for colour is essential, but there’s actually a bit of science in there too! Knowing the products, what’s in them, what products interact well or don’t interact at all, all of these are things that makeup artists can do instinctively after their training. So, if you think for one second that being a makeup artist isn’t a ‘real job’, then you’re absolutely wrong! It’s a very real job with a multitude of qualifications, and if you want a good makeup artist, you need to pay for it.
There’s another reason I won’t do other people’s makeup. Ignore the fact that I’m not really confident with another face, it’s simply not my job. And I sure as hell ain’t doing something for free, honey!
That being said, I did have the challenge of doing makeup of some folks fairly recently before the last lockdown and it reminded me of just how difficult it can be!
It was a staff party for one of the pubs I often gig at and I’d been asked to bring my kit and some old wigs because we were going to have a little dress up session. It was literally just about eight of us in the closed pub on a Monday night (convenient for the staff get together, as the place is closed on Mondays). I had three faces to paint, so I started with the landlady, who I’ve known forever. Now, this was me breaking myself in gently – Starting with a real woman, I wouldn’t need to do as much work, as I wouldn’t have to feminise the features. It was actually more difficult, as I needed to reign myself in a little! I basically painted my look on her and it was… Interesting. Somehow I added twenty years to her! Poor gal, it was all in good fun though, so that’s fine.
Next up was one of the barmen. He’s sweet and adorable, really petite and skinny with razor sharp cheekbones, so I knew something about where I was going there. The biggest challenge with him was the beard. That made pretty much every stage except the eyes a lot more difficult, but he actually looked really good by the end of it! Bold eye makeup really suits him!
Finally, it was our tall, skinny, lanky barman and I had no idea where to start, so I just went for it. The funny part was that the landlady had been to a charity shop and bought gowns for the boys. So, I looked at the gown my final boy was going to wear and picked the colours for the eyes from there, then everything else fell into place. I was really conscious that I was basically painting my own face onto them, as that’s the style of makeup I’m familiar with and it had varying results. Of course, we all have different facial features, so what works on my face might not always work on someone else’s, so I was working around an unfamiliar face. But damn…. Buy the time I was finished with our final guy, I was amazed! I had a feeling the makeup had gone well, but when the gown went on and the big, burgundy har went on, I was super impressed! I’d make a goddess!
Now, all this was all in good fun amongst a little group of us, but I’d never dream of sending any of them out like that! But it really did reiterate my point to myself that I’m definitely not a makeup artist, but for the sake of fun, I’m pretty much up for anything. The great thing about doing my own face is that I don’t have to worry about being gentle with myself or myself making any sudden movements. For me, doing my makeup is almost relaxing and a way of getting into the zone for my performance, whereas doing someone else was a lot more stressful.
The bottom line is, I’m an entertainer. You come to me for a show, because that’s what I do. You want a great makeup experience, you need one of the fabulously skilled makeup artists out there. And I’d thoroughly recommend booking a session with one who knows what they’re doing, because they’ll teach you so much. Remember, they’re there to make you look fabulous and they know how to do that, so trust them and try and soak in as much info as you can. Then practice, practice, practice. And who cares if at the end of it you only know how to do your own face?
Honey, that’s the only face you NEED to know how to do, because doing other people’s faces ain’t your job either. Unless you’re a makeup artist too. But for us mere mortals, we’re too damn busy doing our own work to paint everyone else’s face, so my advice is: Paint yourself beautifully, hold your head up, go about your business and let them admire your work!
So tell me, do you find it harder to do other peoples faces? Are you one of those skilled artists who can just make anyone else beautiful? Let us know in the comments and maybe share some of your secrets. And until next time, of course, stay safe, stay safe, be absolutely fabulous and always stay… Vidalicious!
