Living in these Covid times

-Don't be worried about your smartphone spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.


_If you can't think of a word say "I forgot the English word for it" That way people will think you're bilingual instead of being an idiot.


_I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.


_I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I have missed my exit.


-At what point can we just start using 2020/21 as profanity? As in; that's a load of 2020/21. " or" What is 2020/21. "or abso-2020/21-lutely."


_My goal for 2020/21 was to lose 10 pounds. still have 14 to go.


_I had a salad for dinner. Mostly crouton and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomatoes sauce and cheese. FINE, It was a pizza...OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?.


-I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spiders web.


-I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 15 minutes.


_A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer the men who just happen to mention it.


-The younger generation today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through the shag carpet to change the TV channel.


-Senility has been a smooth transition for me.


-Remember back when we were in our place of education and every time it was below freezing outside they closed our place of education, Yeah, Me neither.


-I may not be that funny or athletic or good-looking or smart or talented..being. I forgot where I was going with this.


-I love being 79 I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.


-A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him. After an hour he left with a look of disappointment on his face.


-I think I will put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.


-Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.


-Having plans sounds like a good idea until you put on clothes and leave the house.


-It's weird being the same age as older people.


-When I was a teenager I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.


-It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking that I'm an adult;


Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked, so remember...Don't sing!


I see people my age mounting climbing; I feel great if I can put on my feet in my underwear without losing my balance.


-So if a cow doesn't produce milk. is it a milk dud or an udder failure.?-


I'm at that age where my mind still thinks that I'm 29 my humour suggests I'm 12 while my body mostly keeps asking I'm not dead yet.


-You do not realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get up.


-We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads, that's my story and I am sticking to it.


-Coronacoaster: noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic, one day, you're loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread, going for long walks, next, you're crying. Drinking spirits for breakfast, missing people that you didn't even like. Remember there is always someone that is worse off than you.


Keep safe live longer.

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