PERHAPS I’M NOT ‘NORMAL’
I’m not a gambling man, but if I was I would bet that there are few of us that have not, at least once, questioned our ‘normality’. This could be about anything, of course, but is most likely to be related to our sensual and sexual preferences and pleasures.
My late wife and I always had a very strong physical bond, and enjoyed sex very frequently, so there was a time when I felt that I must be weird to enjoy seeing her relishing sex with other men. I loved her dearly, so initially thought that I must be unnatural.
But let’s go back many years. My self-questioning actually started when I was quite young. Whenever I was alone, given that the weather was warm enough, I used to take off all my clothes and enjoy the sensation of being nude. I had no idea at that time that millions of people enjoyed being what were collectively termed ‘naturists’, and the pleasure was a perfectly natural one, but back then I thought it must be just me.
Later, as I got older, I never questioned the normality of the sexual activities I shared with my girlfriend, but it was a little way into my first marriage before I revisited my interest in naturism. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try and all was well. I knew even then that because of the exciting fantasies I enjoyed, and the reaction I experienced in my groin, that I wanted to be more sexually adventurous, so I guess that addressing naturism with her was a way of testing the water! It was not long before we stumbled into a swinging lifestyle, although we didn’t know that word at the time! The early days were a time of serious self-questioning. I did not realise that the desires I felt and the erotic pleasures I loved were not at all unusual, and thought that I must be some kind of freak. Looking back I can’t help wondering if the others we mixed with at the time also saw themselves as abnormal!
The end of that marriage was not in any way connected to the lifestyle, but, as my self-confidence had taken a battering, I thought that I may never be able to indulge in such excitement again, but, as it turned out, fate was smiling on me. Following a period of living alone, I met a truly wonderful lady, and we swiftly formed a strong bond. It was love at first sight, in both directions as I found out later. Right at the outset I told her I was a naturist, which delighted her as she was keen to try it. Apparently she had talked to her first husband about trying it, but he wouldn’t even consider it. Total honesty always bodes well, and I know it took courage for her to tell me that she had, as yet, never been faithful in any relationship.
I sincerely believe that human monogamy is unnatural. There are species that are strictly monogamous, but the human animal if definitely not one of them. In any form of coupling, including marriage, no-one ever owns another person, and your body should always be your own domain to use us you wish. The sexual interaction we have with a partner in a meaningful relationship is the physical expression, and the completion, of the mental and intellectual connection we have made. It follows, therefore, that this will not preclude attraction to others for bodily gratification. I explained my philosophy to her, and we embarked on an extraordinary life together that sadly ended after twenty-five years with her passing. We were always open with each other; there was never anything to ‘find out’.
Deceit is painful and destructive, but openness and honesty can unlock the doors to a world of fulfilment beyond the wildest of dreams. She never deceived me, which, in my view, means she was never unfaithful to me.
Whatever interests and desires you might have, be assured, you are not unique!
