TOTAL FULFILLMENT???
If you and your partner can totally fulfill and satisfy each other you have my full respect and admiration. It is an occurrence that is so rare it justifies the use of the word unique.
Many people are lucky enough to have a great relationship that is for the most part rewarding. However, it is true to say that for the vast majority of mortals just one other person is not enough to tick all the boxes. The fulfillment we get outside our committed relationship need not be sexual in any way. Some men enjoy an evening in the pub with their male friends, or to play and socialize at the golf club. Many ladies like to get together with their female friends for a coffee on a regular basis. This is all good and perfectly normal, but does highlight the fact that we need others in our lives to provide the parts that our partner cannot.
So, we have to accept as fact that as much as we love our partners, they cannot satisfy all our needs. It is far from unusual to find that there are unpainted areas of our sexual canvas that only another can colour in. If this is the case, how can we address the issue, because few are really happy to indulge in deception, but are afraid to bring up the subject fearing the reaction they will get? You will both have such areas, so surely you should have the conversation! Sharing fantasies is a positive idea that can easily lead, or be guided, into the chat that you probably both need to have.
All long term relationships are built on trust, and when that trust is betrayed it causes devastation. An otherwise strong bond can be saved if both parties work at it, but so often pride gets in the way. An unwillingness to talk and forgive understandably stems from the hurt and humiliation that is being suffered, often coupled with a concern that other people will think you weak if you forgive. The latter statement is nonsense, of course, because it doesn’t matter a jot what other people think. The best advice, though, is to not deceive. The fact that he/she has been to bed with another person is not the most important part; it is the deceit that is most painful. After all, it is likely that you have both had sex with several other people before you met.
Those that are in a swinging lifestyle or open relationship are totally honest with each other. There is no need to do anything behind their partner’s back. Personally, I would hate to have to carry the burden of lies and deceit, and couldn’t treat someone I love so badly.
I am of the opinion that there are many more people that would benefit from embracing the lifestyle if only they could find a way in. How can we reach out to them and let them see that we are not weirdos, that we lead perfectly ordinary lives in all other ways, that we care as much as anyone else, and we don’t want to shock, hurt or offend anyone?
Any good ideas?
