Is Christmas Getting Harder?

I’m finding Christmas shopping so much more difficult this year. And, no, it’s not because of everything that’s going on, it’s because although I have a few less gifts to buy these days, the question of what exactly to buy is stumping me a bit.
It could be partly because Christmas is so much different as an adult to what it was as a child. As an adult, we’re expected to practically bankrupt ourselves to shower our loved ones with gifts, go to parties, get new clothes, buy and prepare food for the masses and still somehow enjoy the whole thing. As I’m writing this, I’m fully aware that I’m in a slightly ‘done with Christmas’ sort of mood, but it’ll pass.

As a child, there’s not really any of the responsibility. It’s all just pure magic. Even if you’ve reached an age where Santa’s cover has been blown, you’re still just expected to open presents, eat food and be cute. Those were the days.

Before you think of me as selfish and that I appear to want Christmas to be all about me, that’s not it at all. I don’t object to gift giving in the slightest, in fact the opposite – I delight in treating other people. As you know, I also love to cook and I’m rather excited for my Christmas Eve cooking traditions that have become essential over the years. Christmas Eve consists of frantic wrapping, which I’m not very good at, a few drinks, which I’m very good at, Home Alone on the TV and me making a vast quantity of Italian inspired stuffing and a huge batch of my port and spice laced cranberry sauce. It’s a tradition I love and nothing will make me part with it. As long as I can get there successfully, I’ll be happy and Christmas will have finally really begun for me. Even if it invariably does involve not making it to bed before four in the morning!

But it’s the getting to Christmas Eve and being ready that bothers me. This year more than before. Not only is time apparently moving at warp speed this year, but once again, Christmas seems to have got a little harder again. It’s like a video game where you complete a level each year only for the next to be incrementally harder. The thing is, there are no children left in our family, so there’s no-one to keep the magic alive for and those we have to buy the presents for are of an age where if they need something, they go and buy it. In fact, the gifts I end up coming home with are more funny or things I’ll probably never look at again that’ll just take up space. I love books and I love reading, for example, I just rarely find the time to sit down with a good book and get lost in it, which I do miss, but the two books I got last year were woefully mis-matched to me and left me wondering if the people gifting them actually knew me at all. At least it wasn’t as bad as the Christmas I worked in a coffee shop and everyone thought coffee related gifts would be a good idea, as if I didn’t see enough of that at work! Generally, as an adult, most of us are using Christmas time as a very welcome break from work, so we really don’t want to think about it, especially on Christmas Day itself, so being suddenly reminded of it immediately bursts your bubble. This is why I have a ‘no work’ related gifts theme, in that I will never buy someone something work related, unless they specifically ask. Yes, I’m aware it’s the thought that counts, which is why I try to put as much thought into it as possible.

The problem is, going through the high street, especially the three-for-two offers, it’s all just variations on a theme. Similar things to last year’s range with a different label or a different flavour. How many packs of seasoning rubs can you buy someone in a lifetime? Many, the shops seem to think! It wouldn’t even be that bad if it was one the recipient really loved and wanted more of, but no, it’s different ones every year except the giftbox somehow feels exactly the same, so it feels like you’ve forgotten what you got them last year and just got the same thing because it was the free one with two other gifts.

I partly blame my dad for this. Not because he’s actually done anything wrong, he’s lovely, it’s more that I looked at what I’d bought him over the last few years and realised that for years, I’ve called back on the same sorts of things for eternity. Tools (typical dad gift), kitchen gadgets, wine related items or chocolate, these being his main interests. It was when he was doing some house renovations recently and I found myself having a nosey around his garage and saw literally hundreds of previous gifts in there. I’m actually quite touched that he’s kept them all, despite their clear redundance, but it really hammered it home that he didn’t actually NEED these things. Looking at the collection of tools he’s built up over the years, he’s definitely not lacking anything he needs in that department – and if he does, it’ll be something specific that he’ll get when he needs it. There was the shoe shaped wine bottle holder that I bought my stepmother a few years ago, that’s still there, though not used, so that’s not the sort of thing they need either. They’ve just got a new kitchen, so you’d think that’d be obvious, but after talking to them about what other family members want to get them for the kitchen, it’s clear they have their own ideas on this, so I might steer clear of that. There’s also the age old question of do you buy them a joint present or separate ones? Who knows?

I also think single people get stiffed at Christmas. Like, you get a gift that a couple has both chipped in for and you have to get them something either decent enough to be a joint gift or separate items, which always costs more. Yes, again, it’s not about that, but you know, it’s a bit shit, don’t you think? At least they can have a shag at the end of Christmas Day if they want as well. Maybe lay off the sprouts for that one though.

It’s not all doom and gloom, I am actually quite festive. Put a box of mince pies in front of me and I can make them disappear faster than a great magician ever could! For me, Christmas is all about the food! That’s the bit I’m excited about. Obviously, I’m fully going to get my shit together and get the gift situation sorted with time to prep my mental health for the awkward family questions we all get on Christmas Day. I’m a little sad that my little brother can’t make it home this year for the first time, but we’ll work around that somehow. It does mean, however, that my ally on the day won’t be there, so I’m going to be doing a lot of pausing, breathing and gritting teeth. The idea did cross my mind to just not filter myself and be accused of ruining Christmas, but my brother would never forgive me if he wasn’t there to see it. But, just for amusement, I’m so tempted to call a couple of people out on some of the shit they’re blunt to come out with. There’s a couple of family members who are happy to throw about the casual racism, homophobia and judge just about anyone, so I could just not let those comments slide and make things interesting. We could make a party game out of it! Go ahead, defend your racism, I dare you!

At least dad’s amazing cooking will be certain – and in the new kitchen too! Now that the kitchen, living and dining area is all open plan, it’s going to make keeping his aunt out of the kitchen a fun game. I might just sit in a corner, get drunk and watch the show. Though I’m not old enough to be the Sherry-soaked, belligerent relative, it could be fun to try that hat on for some practice!

The funny thing is, sitting and writing this, making a mental note of where I’m up to, it doesn’t actually seem that bad. I’ve got a few decent gifts already and fully intend to look fabulous on the day. Like, I obviously won’t be matching my stepmother’s traditional five outfit changes throughout the day (where do you think I get that from?) but I intend to sparkle and not even dial back the gayness even a little.

For the couple who got me some dreadfully cheap makeup brushes last year that fell apart when I tried to use them, they’re getting a candle, the godparents I don’t really like will be getting another cup and saucer set this year and I’ve seen a fabulous book on how to be a better person that the racists can have. If I feel brave enough. I’m going to put my energy into the more positive people in my life. Which is a good lesson here. Positivity is for life, not just for Christmas. Make the best of Christmas Day and make it fun. You’ll be back in your dressing gown and comfy slippers before you know it watching Doctor Wh…. Actually, that’s not even a Christmas Day thing anymore since the new producer took over, so there’s another thing that ruins Christmas. Might just have a wank instead.

So there you have it, my grumble about Christmas to blow my Grinchy cobwebs away so I can burst out of my cocoon and sparkle like a treetop angel on the day! Have you got any Christmas gripes? Any things that you just can’t stand? Do you find gifting harder every year? Let’s start a conversation in the comments and maybe we can give each other some inspiration and spread some cheer! However you’re spending it, I hope you have the most fabulous time you can and I wish you sparkle, joy and a Merry Vida-mas!

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