Last week I wrote about all the nervousness and prep work I was going through for a really busy day that was coming up. A day of doing two gigs in one day in two different towns. Now that it’s over and the dust has settled, I’m feeling quite reflective and exceptionally grateful for the whole experience.
These weren’t just any gigs, oh no. The first was celebrating our island’s first ever Youth Pride, an event that’s been a long time coming and gave me an immense feeling of… well, pride. I was proud of my island for hitting a milestone like this, for moving such a way in such a short time compared to some other places (homosexuality was only legalised here in 1992), so we may have been late to the party but we’re now pretty ahead of the curve with legislation, rights and protections. This is something to be really proud of!
The island now has LGBTQ+ youth clubs in every corner of our island, so those growing up have company and support. I remember being fourteen or fifteen and feeling like it was me and my best friend against the world. We thought we were the only ones apart from a couple of elder gays we’d heard of. It’s astounding to me that this level of support is just there on their doorsteps. And, beautifully, the kids don’t take it for granted in the least, they support it and value it. The whole experience had me really wondering how my own life might have been different if we had these things while I was growing up.
The afternoon time was terrifying. A couple of other queens and I were manning (or is that ‘womaning’?) the ‘Werkroom’, doing makeup tutorials and general confidence building tips and tricks. There was something really daunting about having to do makeup in front of a live audience of super-interested teenagers – even after doing it on camera! (That’s a shameless plug, by the way, to go watch my makeup tutorial videos!). The thing is, live, there’s no editing, so the pressure to not make a colossal bollocks of it is oh-so-real! It was actually fun though!
The other queens had a few hours to chill out before their stage appearances in the evening, but I was the finale to the afternoon’s festivities, after the presentations and stuff. So, the second the makeup tutorial sessions finished and everyone headed into the main theatre, I had to rush into the dressing room where all my stuff was and get the tights and many other layers on before donning a rainbow sequin dress, the ridiculous massive red coat, blue wig and some heels so I could get out and belt out some music.
Gussied up to the nines, I was ready and waiting in the wings and was NOT prepared for the welcome I received! I was introduced and walked out there and I have literally never seen a crowd go quite so wild! To think I was slightly worried that I might not be their thing or that my choice of music might not be recent enough for a crowd of teenagers. No, they knew every song! I could tell because they sang along the whole time! The energy in the room was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Obviously, I’ve got cheers and applause before - I’d have given up long before now if that wasn’t the case, but this was different. There was an excitement like nothing I’d ever experienced before! Before I started my second song, I said a few words about what a fabulous milestone this was and felt myself get a little choked up. As I broke into the next song, I could see everyone get their phone torches out and it was like hundreds of stars in the dark in front of me. It was so amazing, I ended up fluffing a line in the song, as the emotion just hit me and my throat wend a bit funny for a second.
It all sounds a little daft that I got that emotional (Obviously, I wasn’t showing it outwardly, I had a face to protect). But, as a performer, it was a different feeling to anything that I’ve experienced for. They were even more excited than I was! As someone who’s grown up here and been trying to make Pride happen for years and years, with many mishaps and false starts along the way, this was the year we’d have our very first Pride, but then Covid scuppered that. Annoyingly, we were declared Covid free on the island just days before the main Pride was supposed to happen, but we were still in a position to give the kids their own Pride. As someone who needed this so badly growing up and someone who’s seen all the changes happen in real time, it was like the culmination of years of work for many people had finally come to life! This was big! This was New! And I’m so grateful to have been a part of it all! During my set, I got a chance to introduce a video message from a celeb hero of mine wishing the kids a happy first Pride and delivering the most stunning message about how there are allies out there that will always stand by our side and that the journey of accepting and celebrating yourself gets easier with each day, month and year. It was genuine, heartfelt and beautiful and just reaffirmed why this diva is such a hero to me – and that all I had to do was message her and ask and she was right there with some inspiration and positivity. There are still wonderful people like that around, which it’s easy to forget sometimes.
Once I’d finished my set and said goodbye, the kids were bussed home so they could change for the evening part, the volunteers and I snuck downstairs to the kitchen to grab some of the fabulous giant rainbow cake that had been made. It was the first and only thing I managed to eat that day til about midnight! The main organiser nearly set me off with the emotions again when she said how much of a milestone this was and that we’re part of history now. It was all quite emotional. I had to go and have a little sit in the soundproofed sensory room for a minute to gather my thoughts and stop me from ruining my makeup, as my day was far from over.
I loaded up the car and headed home, literally only having time to drop one suitcase off with the daytime outfits in and grab the suitcase with the night’s outfits in, another couple of wig boxes and accessories – and clothes for going out after, of course! Then, it was time to head South for the night gig.
I made it down there to the brewery that had been converted into a show venue for a small, intimate group of 40. There was lots of setting up to do, but we got it done fairly quickly. The show was divided into four sections, one being the Pride section, with a beautiful poetry monologue from one of the girls, followed by the stunning ‘Pride Wings’ routine our principal dancer performs, where images from the Pride movement are projected onto her white wings as she dances. It’s an amazingly powerful piece. I then followed with an acoustic arrangement of ‘Like A Prayer’ to get the whole crowd singing united. And it worked. This emotional section combined with the daytime (and the fact that I was totally sober as I was driving) was overwhelming. It’s not a day I’ll forget. The feelings of satisfaction, joy, pride and reflection and the reminder that there are strong reasons that I do what I do are underlined in my head more than ever now.
Come the end of the show, a quick cigarette before tidying everything away, packing up and loading the car back up and I was almost ready to go, but not before some major hugs. The Burlesque group are a nurturing, loving family group, so there are always enormous hugs and so much love between us. But by Christ, was I ready for a stiff drink after all that. I said goodnight and drove back, full of glee and, finally, the packed lunch I’d brought for after the show. I arrived at my friend’s apartment and he already had a pint of Jack and coke ready for me. Just in time to have a couple, then get out for the night! Much needed celebrations ensued.
By the looks of it, both audiences left with the same joy as we had. I just hope that performers across the world get to feel that again soon. It took a couple of days for me to stop smiling and snap back into the real world, but it felt good. I’m still secretly riding that wave of satisfaction and will remember it fondly forever.
So, all that’s left for me now is to wish you all the very best , hope you’re staying safe and still managing to smile. Huge love to you all and don’t forget to stay…. Vidalicious!
