My realization that I am bisexual

Hello everyone!!! I wanted to tell you my story about how I began to realize myself as bisexual. When I was five years old, I lived in a northern town in Siberia, once relatives came to us, my cousin was with them, they settled in a private house and once, when we were visiting them, our parents decided to leave us in the house alone after we fall asleep. They went to the neighbors for a holiday. But my brother and I did not sleep .... I felt that my brother was trembling, I asked him what was going on, to which he replied that he was jerking off his dick, I hadn’t thought about it at all. He asked: "Do you want me to show you how it is?" He took my penis in his hand and began to jerk me off, I took his penis. He was so hard and big, I began to move my hand along the penis, my brother guided me how to do it correctly, he finished, and so did I. Later I masturbated and imagined my brother and I frolicking. I grew up as a hypersexual teenager, and at the slightest opportunity I jerked off. I could finish many times in an hour, I fantasized about intimacy with a boy and massaged my ass with my finger. I grew up in a very homophobic environment and was embarrassed about how I feel about boys. I had to hide and not tell anyone about it. As a teenager, we were hooligans and being a passive homosexual was considered very shameful, we were not even particularly friends with you, but we were friends for amorous pleasures. So, one day, my friend asked to step aside and called the comrade with whom he had come. I told him: "What do you want to ask me?" And he asked: "Can I suck on you?" I was overwhelmed by the offer, and immediately my cock got up. He took my cock out of my pants and began to suck passionately, my friend stood next to me and watched .... This made me even more excited, my friend took out his dick and began to jerk him off. I immediately had a fantasy to take it in his mouth, but the thought that he would think badly of me and tell everyone, stopped me. He approached his friend, who was giving me a blowjob, and offered him to suck two at once, he agreed, I felt our heads rub in my mouth, fantasized that I was downstairs and gave a blowjob to two boys ... ... I finished .... Then we went to deal with our hooligan affairs. After that, I saw that boy several times, he sucked at me, and I dreamed about how I would suck…. I lived in a small provincial town, rumors spread quickly, I was very afraid of publicity and that everyone would find out that I liked boys. It broke me from the inside, all my sexual fantasies were mixed with both boys and girls, I drove the thoughts that I was not like everyone else, because it was a shameful stain on a person. Later, when we moved to another house, I made friends with the guys from the yard, we had fun. One summer we were at an abandoned construction site and started talking about blowjobs, we were joking, and one of them said that he would suck me if I sucked him. To be honest, I was taken aback, since we were not tête-à-tête, to which he approached another boy with his pants down, asked him to do the same, and he immediately began to suck him. I was wildly excited, because I dreamed about it for a very long time ... And so I knelt down next to me, my friend brought his penis to my face, ran his penis over his lips and said that now you are with us. I felt the taste of his penis and immediately wanted to take it in my mouth ... .. Which I did. We met periodically in different compositions, but we almost never got to anal sex. Once we sat at my house and played on the computer in turns ... One friend played ... ... two others sucked each other at that time. So I decided to ask a friend to shove his penis into my ass. He was so excited that as soon as he entered me, he immediately finished. For the first time I got pleasure from the fact that a sex partner finished. Our meetings continued further until we moved to another area. And later, when we were swallowed up by a homophobic society, when we met, we just said hello and averted our eyes from each other. They believed that if someone found out about our games, they would beat us up and make us a general laughing stock. Since the city was extremely small, I had to hide and puzzle over the question. Who am I? At that time I did not even know such a word as bisexual and it was strange for me that I was attracted to both boys and girls. It seems both gay and not gay ... Especially acute was my definition of myself after the army. Upon arrival from the army, I thought that everything seemed to me, I liked girls and that I was not gay, but I was still drawn to men from time to time. Then we had the first internet, and I immediately found the site for gay, where I looked at the horny dicks and jerked off. After I finished, I felt ashamed of myself. And for what I do. But I continued to do it regularly. Unfortunately, in our small northern city there were no adverts of meetings, and connections with former friends were gone, only memories remained. Since the city is small, we, anyway, met, but when we met, we greeted and that's it. In a few years I became a truck driver and very often visited Moscow and St. Petersburg. There I had meetings with men. And there I got my first bad experience of anal sex, and a good experience too. I will write about this later. In the end, I realized that I like both boys and girls, after, somewhere on the Internet, I read an article about bisexuality. And only then I realized what I like in life.

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