It's a nice sunny fall day.... The leaves are changing colour. The breeze is cool. That day felt like any other day... The same thoughts were going through my head once again, as I have thought and felt for years. Do I live my life in the shoes of the person I am told to be because of what I was born as, or do I decide today is that day... the day I finally reach for what I feel I was meant to be?? To be the women I was meant to be, or live my life as society tells me I should be. Am I going to hide myself from the world and be ashamed of what I believe. Not that day... That day I decided that NO MORE!!!... I will live my life they way I want to live it. Not by what society tells me.
For the past few weeks I have been researching, calling, looking at pros and cons.... Getting guidance from people who either have experience in this transition... Or from other support groups.... It has been overwhelming with the amount of support that is out there for people like myself if there not afraid to reach for it. Taking small steps is a good way to start... Dont be afraid. As long as you have some sort of support group out there, the world is full of possibilities.
Don't get me wrong... The are moments where you might feel hurt, judged, shun, and bullied. I know these feelings because I have felt these at times... The latest was when I came out to someone really close to me, and expressed how I have felt since It was young, I was automatically judged and made to feel like how I was feeling was wrong on so many levels. That it goes against what GOD created. That having these thoughts are sinful.... I felt so hurt... So embarrassed... I began to cry.... I felt so alone... But because of this site, I have talked to some amazing people.. people who have encouraged me... Given me strength when I felt weak.... In the end I said screw it.... I doing this.... I don't care what the society thinks.... I am going to be happy in my shoes... Not societies!!!
So far in my journey I have set an appointment for therapy with someone who supports people who what to transition from male to female. Also I have made an appointment Doctor to see what she can do to help me in transition. In the end I am being hopeful that at some point I can start HRT, with the end result surgery... I know this is going to be a long road... With many ups and downs. But I will not give up.
This blog is a means of inspiration for anyone who has felt the way I have. I know I will have haters, judgement, insults. But I dont care.... I will see my journey to the end... I plan on updating my progress every so often.... Especially when something major has transpired. All I ask for is support from anyone who reads this. Any advice is always a welcome. I thank you for reading this.... More to come later
Cheers 💋
