Sometimes I sit in wonder of the variables this world has to offer. I am at the point I know exactly what I am and what I am not. I have also evolved to the point of making no apologies for either. I cannot help though but wonder why all throughout life I have seen people pass judgement on others. That in and of itself is bad enough, but often it is done without even investing the time or energy to know all the facts. This has recently happened to me on this very site (but that is another story for another day and she knows who she is).
My thought today is more about all the complexities of each thing and let's say more specifically for today's discussion in the world of BDSM. I have been active living this life for many years now on varying levels, yet I have never in the past felt as if I actually Fit in the "community". (And still dont) Not out of lack of confidence, knowledge, skills, etc... NO that is not it at all. It actually goes back to the core of who I am I guess... allow me to explain.
I have never felt as if I "fit" in to much of anything. Again not to say I felt out of place but more like in almost every corner of life I watch people behave similar to sheep and travel in herds or tribes if you will..that is not to say that is a bad or good thing just an observation. But I have always questioned everything and sought to formulate my own opinions on everything and developed my own ways of doing things. I have always gone against the grain. From the time I was a young boy when in groups I migrated to a leadership position. I almost always guided the group to things outside the norm and it always felt right. It must have also felt right to them since they typicaIly followed. Yet I seldom claimed the crown or proclaimed myself the leader, no that is not my style. it just happened organically. I never thought much of it and just went about my life. I also realized I had been VERY selective in my intimate relationships and in EVERY case I was the pursued not the pursuer. Again I thought little about it really.
Why is this important? Well, it took me many years until I was in my mid 30s to even realize much of what it meant and it took a very special Woman (whom I will tell all about in a later post). to open my minds eye so it could see what all this truly meant. It started when I realized that anyone can say they are something, You can proclaim you are the leader, an alpha, a dom, a master, head of your household etc... But the true leaders of this world do not "demand" respect they "command" it.. The difference is both subtle and yet glaring. see when you demand it, that is just you trying to Impose your will on someone else right? To me that is like being a fraud, a wannabe or worse. But when you command that respect. it comes organically, and naturally people give it freely because of how you carry yourself when you enter a room, the confidence you exude without it crossing over into arrogance. Not because you have a title bestowed upon you by your self or anyone else, but simply by who you are, how you interact with others, how you make them feel, etc.. That is not to say everyone sees you the same, but in general terms this has proven time and time again to be true. I was fortunate enough that she saw it, was intelligent enough to recognize it and had developed a strong enough relationship with me to get the message through to me in a manner noone else could. I had at that point had such a deep connection with her that she came right out and told me. Not only that but told me in a way that I could actually feel the deepest depths of her very soul quivering as she told me. (stay tuned to future posts for the exact words she used that changed my life!)When she shared this with me it solidified our permanent bond that we had until the day she passed. I cannot begin to tell you the passion and resolve with which she told me that this subtle difference was the entire reason she had been pursuing me for 6 years and could not resist giving herself completely to me. (this in depth story about how neither of us considered ourselves as part of BDSM but both migrated to the ultimate levels of it completely organically without even trying will be in a future post so stay tuned!)
Anyway, that said...
I find it difficult to be on sites like this etc. as they ask you to label yourself are you a dom a daddy a master a sub etc...I am not a lover of labels but I play along when necessary. I will be sharing different steps in my journey to where I am today and then all this may make more sense to you.
What I am VERY clear about is what I am, what I am not, what my strengths and weaknesses are, how to manage both, and although I find myself sitting in my own little corner of the BDSM world doing my own thing. I appreciate and respect all of you and your choices of how you interact with your own kinks. In addition I am also quite clear on that within my neat little box of what I like and dont like I have much flexibility and that works for me and has served me well.
Final thought here is to those up and coming doms, masters etc...perhaps if you think about what I have said here today it will make you better as a leader and as the one who MUST command trust and respect in order to make those around you comfortable. I challenge you all to strive to achieve this one simple thing and watch how it causes high quality people to migrate toward you like a magnet. Best of luck to you all on your journey I hope you will continue to read my posts as I begin to get into the "good stuff" haha :)
When you can achieve orgasm on Command from only the sound of his voice...
