Monday Afternoon
This is more difficult to write than I thought it would be, and I have no idea if it’s what you’re looking for. I wanted to write this as some sort of erotic storyline, but it really didn’t come out that way at all. Like I said, I feel more like I’m telling someone about a therapy session. Which is odd, because in a couple of ways it was one of the more erotic experiences I can remember. I knew what would happen as soon as you asked me to meet you before I went to the airport. (Actually I probably knew when you asked if I needed help picking out clothes to wear after my bath) If I was scared, it was not because I felt physically at risk, you were obviously exactly who you seemed to be, but I was scared that I would feel bad afterwards. I was afraid I would feel more fragile and vulnerable than I already felt. I am surprised about what I was afraid of. I wasn’t really nervous until I got in the truck to head to your office. Then I was both nervous and very, very excited. You have an amazing sexy confidence and you are easy to trust. Each time I called and checked in with you I felt less nervous and more excited. By the time I walked into your office I was a mess. I was wildly turned on by the fact that from the moment I said I’d come over, I didn’t have to think about anything else at all. It was able to just follow your lead and it felt wonderful. For no particular reason I can think of, I just felt incredibly safe with you. You were gentle and kind, and at the same time completely in control and strong. You made it possible for me to not worry about anything, I knew I was safe and I knew when we left your office that I wouldn’t feel icky afterward. (Nobody who hugs as well as you do would send me off to the airport feeling icky)Once you took a hold of my hand and put it on your cock all I could think of was that I wanted you inside me. I’m surprised I didn’t leave a puddle on the floor of your office. And when you told me what to do at the hotel I got even more excited. My heart was pounding so hard I had to stop and take a couple deep breaths. I was hoping you’d give me a little longer than the two minutes you promised. When I left the door open and went to lie on your bed I was so on edge that I was nearly in tears and I almost came just hearing you open the door. I just wanted to spread my legs and feel your cock slide in. I wanted to not be nervous so I could just relax and enjoy you, but I was very on edge and very nervous until about the time you touched me, then I was a little embarrassed. It kinda freaks me out that I was so easily and intensely aroused. Your cock felt so good sliding inside me; thinking about it right now is making my whole body flush. At first all I could think of was “please don’t ever stop”, then all I could think of was, “I want desperately to please this man”. You gave me everything I needed from the moment you first touched me and I wanted to be able to do the same for you. I loved having your cock in my mouth. I loved feeling your hand in my hair while I tried to get you hard again.
The whole afternoon was perfect and I never for a moment felt like there was anything wrong with being there. The “Daddy” angle is oddly comforting, which doesn’t bother me in the least, but absolutely surprises me. I have done a lot of thinking about it since, obviously. I had no idea I would feel this way about it. It made a lot more sense when I read your profile on CM, but I still have a lot of thinking to do.
Monday EveningI can’t write this the way I want to. I can’t distance myself from it enough to make it sound reasonably sane. It either ends up sounding crass and shallow, or starry-eyed and love struck I and I don’t want to sound either way. How can I describe what it felt like to be sitting on your lap, firmly impaled on your cock with my hands held tightly in yours while wave after wave of orgasm overtook me? I don’t know how to put into the words the pleasure and security of knowing that you will take what you want when you want it and I don’t have to worry about anything at all, I can simply feel you and let my body follow your lead. I think I came for an hour straight Monday night. Maybe more. It was a strange kind of orgasm…. Encompassing all the different kinds I’ve ever had and then a little more. You somehow know me so well that you’re able to get me to a place where I can let nearly everything go. Tucked away in your room it was easy to pretend that the whole point of existence could actually be just to be there, naked and being fucked by you, or holding your cock in my hand and caressing your balls. Not to mention how amazing it is to have my mouth on your cock. Whether you’re hard or not I just love the feeling of your cock in my mouth and your hand in my hair. I love cleaning my juices off your cock after you’ve fucked me, even the third or fourth time in the night, when the smell of our sex is thick. But when I think of it, it doesn’t feel to me like a hot and nasty thing to do. It feels like a natural and incredibly intimate thing to do, if maybe a little base and feral and slightly wild. It’s much like beginning the day with your cum in my mouth, or like stopping by your office and giving you a blowjob in the afternoon. It’s just such a “wrong” thing to do, that it feels perfectly “right”. You were teasing me about forgetting to write about such things as how your hand was slowly caressing my leg while you bit and sucked my breasts. I may not have written about it, but that isn’t because I didn’t remember it. I remember all the things you do, even the gentle things. I can’t write about all of it very well, but I remember all of it.I was surprised at how I felt when you chastised me for not giving you a cracker and oyster without you asking. And by the way, I felt your disappointment a while before you said anything abut it. I was ashamed of myself for being rude and so completely NOT submissive. But… a little part of me was absolutely thrilled that you called me on it. Don’t misunderstand, I believe I always strive to please you and I would not behave poorly just to have you “call me on it” or just to get your attention. I would far prefer to always do things right and get your attention in other ways. But… I suddenly realized that I do want to be held accountable for maintaining my side of the D/s equation. I do want that control to be in place and I do want to serve in that way. It’s a lot more than a sex game to me. I guess I would say that I don’t want a “vanilla” relationship with elements of D/s and kink, I want a strong, sexually charged, kinky D/s relationship with elements of “vanilla” thrown in for spice. I hope that makes some sense.
Friday You’re pretty good at motivating me to write about how I feel when we’re together. I mean, I’d be foolish not to pay attention when your cock is buried inside me and you’re whispering to me how much you like reading what I write after we’ve been together. Coming to you this time felt greedy, like I was taking more than my share. How could I dare to want more when I was feeling so completely and perfectly satisfied? Now I know how someone might feel coming upon a pool of cool water after being thirsty for way too long. I want to drink more than my fill. Cuffing myself and waiting naked on your bed had the same sort of effect as waiting for you on my knees. Somehow those things trigger a response in the deepest part of my mind and the center of my focus becomes pleasing you in every possible way that I can. It manifests itself almost physically, with a warm glowing feeling low in my tummy… near where I can feel the end of your cock when you’re as deep inside me as you can get. When I feel that way, lying on your bed with my wrists and ankles cuffed together, I would turn myself inside out to please you.My natural inclination is to hold back enough to keep from catapulting myself over some erotic cliff where I will crash on rocks below. In spite of that, I have begun to feel very safe with you; less inclined to be wary of letting myself go completely. It’s an odd feeling for me and I have started to believe it has to do with the “Daddy” concept. If that is going to work at all, I have to give up responsibility for protecting myself and let you be in charge of that. Daddy, letting my guard down isn’t easy. You will have to be patient. Last night when you were inside me, buried deep and hard with my ankles chained together over your back, it felt like one, long continuous orgasm the went from my head to my hips. I was cumming with my pussy, my spine, my tummy, my heart and my brain. When I clenched down hard on your cock it just set the whole thing off again and again and again. It felt so good I nearly cried. I could almost lose my mind wanting to give more and more when I was already giving everything. You fuck me so perfectly. Your cock fills every crevice inside me, and when you slide out it feels like you’re pulling my very soul out with your cock. Then you drive yourself hard back into me and I just melt at my core and there is just nothing that compares to that feeling of surrender. I don’t know if the words ever come out aloud, but I know that silently I am saying, “take me, Daddy… take me” over and over again. I wish I could tell you how it feels when I’m sucking your cock. Have I mentioned that I now understand what “cock worship” is all about? It’s as if the whole world is centered at the place where my mouth is touching your cock. My vision sort of blurs and all my energy wants to flow out through my tongue. I want to give you my mouth and throat like you give me your cock when you fuck me. I love wearing your cuffs when we’re together. I suppose you’re right when you say it’s a feeling of security. I like the jingle of the metal pieces and the idea of somehow being your captive when they are on. Yes, I like being Daddy’s slut. I like it very much. I wrote this from your room and now I’m wet and needy again from writing this. I am tempted to call you and see if you can come back for just a little while. But maybe that is just a little too greedy. Thank you, Daddy. s
