Bionic Fred
BIONIC FRED
Now, this is the story of young Freddie Bloor
Whose sexual Equipment got jammed in the door,
By the time they had freed him he didn't feel well
For his poor private parts were all mangled to hell.
They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew
But, when they arrived there was nowt they could do.
What a mad blow for Fred, condemned without choice
To a life without sex and a high squeaky voice.
But, lucky for Fred so he wouldn't feel a fool,
Some bright spark suggested a bionic tool.
A smart new electric one made out of brass
Though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
So, newly equipped and after a rest
Fred thought he would put his new tool to the test
By finding a woman, the nearest one handy
He plied her with drinks and made her feel randy.
The girl without waiting put her hand in Fred's flies
When she felt what was there gave a cry of surprise,
"That's my bionic chopper, let's have some fun",
"Cor Blimey" she said, it felt like a gun.
They both stripped off quick and Fred entered her fast,
Then he turned up the speed knob and gave her full blast.
They clutched tight each other as Fred's dick shook some more
Then they shook off the bed and rolled on to the floor.
Now the pace hotted up and they started to choke
And the air in the room became full of blue smoke,
with a bang Fred's left bollock shot up in the air
And the other one went bonkerty bonk down the stair.
So back for repair went poor Fred full of woe,
Was this how his sex life was destined to go?
He returned to the doctor at the end of each shag
With his prick in his pocket and balls in a bag.
But they fixed Fred up and made him manly again
They helped the batteries with a flex to the main,
So if he can't get a girl now lucky Fred doesn't cry,
Cos he is now AC/DC and can go with a guy.
