My aphrodisiac is you.............

I knew, as certain as the sun would rise the next day, that once I took the step I was about to take, my life, my world, would never be the same. Gone would be the days of men playing games, or me teasing guys, stuck between manhood and boydom and no life plan in sight, days of being who I thought I should be, who they thought I should be. If I followed my heart, my soul, and met THE ONE as he wished me to meet him, I'd be lost forever.

As I stripped down to nothing but my own stretch marked skin and turned on the shower of some bargain chain hotel, my mind drifted. To the chats on the Internet, to the emails, and to the hours long phone conversations. He was right, I suppose, about us not being strangers when we met for the first time. How could I agree to meet a stranger at this hour in this place, on his terms? I never would have. But this man, he was no stranger, he felt special to me.

I perched first one leg, then the other, on the side of the slippery tub to shave them. As stupid as it may sound, that shaving session was symbolic, because gone were the fine hairs that covered my body, but so were the inhibitions and hesitations about being me, about being the woman I longed to be, to be unafraid, loved tenderly and without condition. I cut myself, by my ankle, and I had to smile as I watched the blood begin to drip. I was alive and the drops were proof, but after tonight I'd not need to see the proof in such form. I knew it, in my heart, and in my soul.

While I watched my reflection in the mirror and hummed along to the radio, the shrill of my mobile phone startled me back to reality. Hesitantly I picked it up and listened to the voice on the other end. My heart skipped a beat, then went into a rhythm I'd not recognized since the days of school dances and Christmas mornings. He repeated the directions and I hung on his every word. I wanted to be as close to perfect as a forty something divorcee could be. With a nervous smile, I said goodbye and laid myself across the bed. The only thing left to do was put my hair up, as he'd instructed, so I zoned a little longer.

I twisted my hair up and into the clip, a chignon. No makeup apart from a hint of lipstick. I noticed that my hands were shaking, ever so slightly, so I licked my lips and said a prayer to God, for safety and protection, but also for this to be what I really thought it was, my One, IT, for the rest of my life. My mobile shrieked, as if to taunt me with news of his arrival. A brief conversation and two seconds later, there I was.

Naked, kneeling, with my hands clasped behind my back. I lowered my head and listened to the slamming of the car door. Funny, but it never crossed my mind, not even once, to get up and do anything differently than what I was doing right then. Does one not owe it to themselves to face their destiny head on, without hesitation?

With a knock, he entered. I saw his shoes and could tell by the way his trouers fell that they were expensive. For a second, maybe two, I held my breath. Would he send me home? Would he be displeased? Would he find me lacking, completely unsuitable? I realize now that I never answered those questions for myself, because as he lifted me, ever so gently from my knees to his arms, he'd answered them for me.

I looked up and saw before me the most amazingly sexy man I'd ever seen. His features, dark and serious, held a light and a tenderness like I'd never known. His voice had captured my libido, but his soul captivated my own like no other. As I trembled my way through our first kiss, his touch was unwavering, but far from pushy. In an odd way, it felt good to be caressed and fondled, like a new toy, or better yet, like his prized possession.

As quickly as it had begun, the kiss ended, and his exploration of my body ended. I tried not to feel abandoned and ashamed. I tried to not show my disappointment. He must have sensed it, because he smiled. "Lay down on the bed, my love. I want to taste you, I want to know you by taste and smell the way my eyes knew you on sight." Ever so slowly, I made my way to the double bed with its slick cotton bedspread.

He laid me back, parted my long legs, then disrobed. I watched him, like a little girl would watch her prince on the big screen, complete with fascination, longing, and total awe. His nimble fingers made quick work of the expensive shirt and tie, his chest and broad shoulders revealed, my mouth watering. Gone were the expensive shoes and the trouser's, and he stood before me as naked as I had stood before him.

Our eyes met, locked, and in an instant he was above me, the length of his body pressed against mine. My mouth parted to allow his tongue entrance, mimicking my thighs. He was warm and smelled of Aramis aftershave. Ever so slowly, I felt myself drifting to that place where you lose all sense of time and location. I inhaled the scent of him, let the taste of his kisses linger on my tongue and lips.

Most men would not hold my attention or gain my willing submission, but for this man I would not move from the position in which he left me as he ventured further south in his exploration of my body. First the left breast, then the right. A soft nuzzle here, a teasing nip there. A kiss along my soft, life marred stomach. Every place his hands touched, his mouth followed.

He passed over oh so close to that special silken purse, travelling tongue first with trailing fingers and kisses down the full length of my long smooth legs, and then traced his way back up them again, kisses and touches so soft, like whispers upon my skin.

Fingertips, kneading at the curve of my hips and thighs, stroking the length of my shaped calves and strolling back, upwards towards my silken purse, teasing my inner thigh, my hips straining, thigh muscles trembling.

I felt his fingers slip inside of me; his thumb nestled against my clit. My hips rose to meet his hand, our eyes on one another, an ancient rhythm with a new lover. I could smell my arousal, and my cheeks flamed. I could hear my wetness, and I tried to turn away, to hide from his gaze, but I had given myself over to him mentally and emotionally, and I found it impossible.

He lowered his head and I felt his tongue take the place of his thumb. I bucked once against him, then once more. His fingers, like my own private sex toy, teased the secret spot within me, while his tongue never missed a drop. Over and over. My body trembled, my legs were like jelly, and the blush that covered my cheeks now covered my entire body. He drank of me, without stopping, until the final shockwave had subsided.

I felt the mattress dip as he moved to lay beside me. I found myself pulled to him, cradled against his body. The body that he now whispered belonged to me. I was so proud to belong to this man. Strong, virile, sexy as hell, with sensuality like no other. I looked up at him, and I knew there was no going back.

I'd given the invitation with my eyes. I was ready to be completely his. He kissed me, like a man possessed, and situated himself between my thighs. The musky smell assaulted my senses, but it fuelled his fire. In an instant, he was inside of me, in a place where very few had ever been allowed, and certainly none had ever been granted access to within the first hour of meeting. The thought made me shiver, because indeed, he was like no other man, ever. This was my soulmate, my Sir, the last man I ever wanted to feel inside of me.

I opened myself wider. I wanted him as deep in me as he could humanly be. He moaned in response to my whimpers. I arched to meet his thrusts, no longer caring enough about propriety to even blush. I craved him, as a thirsty man craves water. I felt myself flying, higher and higher, losing myself in the feel of our bodies joined together.

His whispered "Oh my God" and "You're so beautiful", even the thought of this man getting pleasure from my body, it was a powerful combination. I felt myself spiralling upward, to the place most never reach, and as I reached the top, as my mind, body and soul reached that pinnacle, I was pulled closer into him. He was buried in me, so deeply it almost hurt, but it felt so right. I screamed; the fire inside burning so hot that I could barely stand it.

As if to answer my call for release, I felt his body convulse, his hard cock spasm. Over and over again, I felt his seed extinguish the fire he had started. Where there had only seconds ago been burning desire, there was smouldering passion and total possession. Where there had been only a man and a woman, a Man had marked and taken control of his willingly given soul, Me.

Amid kisses and whispered vows of devotion, I felt his arms encircle me. I felt his heart beating beneath my cheek as I lay my head upon his well defined chest. Coming back to Earth had never felt so sweet. Being loved had never felt so right. For a first meeting, finding my final destination had been easy on that cosy winter's night.

• Add Comment
• View Blog