How I got here and where I want to go

Hello, I am a 71 y.o. male that loves to dress up as a woman. How did I get here you may ask? I was a straight male but very young discovered the thrill of putting on women's clothes and shoes/boots. I was painfully shy around girls and barely had any kind of social life. I began to wonder what it felt like to wear heels and skirts/dresses and found that excited me. I eventually ordered a pair of go-go boots from a Sears catalog. When I received them and put them on for the first time, my world changed. I loved them!


Whenever I did have a girlfriend, I had no urge to cross dress. Several times I "purged" my collection of women's things and regretted it every time. I finally accepted myself as a cross dresser and have built up quite a collection of clothes and shoes and especially boots. It is my only real pleasure now. When I am dressed, it is the only time I feel true to myself.


I always wondered about being with a man when playing a woman. I found that the idea of pleasuring a man's penis began to arouse me. One time, I did meet with a man while dressed as a woman(he knew my tranny status) but things did not go well. Since, I continue to dress but only in private. I am not "out". Doing so would hurt too many people that care for me. I do live alone so do get to enjoy dressing most of the time.


Recently I have thought again about being with a man while I am dressed. Although I no longer get erections(old age has not been kind to me), I still get excited about the thought of pleasuring a mans penis with my mouth. I don't know about anal sex as that seems horribly unclean. I would love to meet someone to explore intimacy with a man with me playing the role of a woman.


We would have to meet after dark in a public place but not around other people. If it goes well, then I am ready to explore what I can do for a man even more. I do smoke when dressed. Early in life I associated smoking with sexiness although for most of my life I didn't smoke.


My first try at writing a blog here didn't get published and I understand why. I wrote of a fantasy I have had for years and understand why it is unacceptable.


A more acceptable fantasy that I really would like to explore is having a romance or just sex with a man. I am open to explore my sexuality as a CD. I am not into pain but I discovered being bound was a turn-on quite by accident. I don't have to do that but if it is your thing, I am OK with it. I signed on to this site in the hope of meeting someone in my area that I could meet for fun and pleasure. I would love to meet other CDs too. I may have some clothes to share as I don't throw things away and no longer fit some great outfits someone could use.


So if you like what I am and are interested, post a comment and we can take it from there. I am not in a hurry for sure. Thanks for reading.
Diana

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