Introduction and more about me.

I've known I was trans for a long time, longer even than I've had a word for it. I only recently began coming out to those I trust most. Even at that I've faced some rejection, and expect more if I am honest with myself. I work in IT, am a single parent, and have multiple fetishes which I may update later. I also am attending classes to upskill right now but as soon as I finish that in about a month and a half I plan to start the requisite therapy so I can begin hormones.


I do not know if I will be able to afford to transition anytime soon as I get to start helping pay for college but I am so very tired of not doing anything about my feelings and feeling ashamed of myself. So I am going to embrace who I am inside and I am going to do what I can to begin the process while I work towards that goal. Since I can easily afford the counselling required and the hormones, I will do that for now.


I want to say MOST of my friends and the family members I have told, including my most serious ex, have been VERY supportive, though there have been some exceptions and I expect atleast one more that will really hurt when that conversation happens so I am putting that one off until I have begun therapy and have more support network built. I also want to say how VERY much I appreciate the love and support of those friends and family members - including a certain woman I have loved and argued with for 20 years, you are so right that we have always been each others white whale AND you and the brat princess are both so right that I should be true to who and what I am and that I shouldn't be afraid to want to be loved for who I am.


This is a journey. There will be highs and lows for me. A low will be the conversation with my father, who I fully expect will never accept this. I hope i am wrong on that but I doubt I am. But whether he accepts who I am or not, it is MY life and MY truth not his. I have been miserable trying to live societies expectations for years and even just coming out to those I trust has already been a HUGE relief. I am coming out cautiously, but I am committed to eventually being fully out.


From a fetish standpoint I am a Top/switch though I do sometimes bottom with someone I trust, especially if I am upset, or if they need to top for a bit.


Yes, I find it scary each time I tell someone. Yes, I find it hard. But I also know NOTHING worth having is ever easy, nor should it be, or we take it for granted.

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